Ever wonder how cool some song sequels could be if they weren't as horribly names like Metallicas Unforgiven II? Try these on for size...
How Are We Going to Get These Dogs Back In?
Bust an Additional Move
Seriously, Eileen, Come On
I Will Now Pass the Dutchie Back to You and Thank You for Passing It to Me Originally Because I Really Enjoyed the Dutchie
Whoomp! There It Continues To Be
And here and here are two disturbing French AIDs campaign ads.
http://www.aides.org/illustration/5/2058.pdf
http://www.aides.org/illustration/5/2059.pdf
Only 4 more hours of work. Dear Lord thank you.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Oh my God I forgot how much I loved getting paid.
I mean REALLY paid.
Not Toys 'R Us, Electronics Boutique Express, Shop-Rite, or Computer Services Group paid. Those were all low-earning jobs.
God bless you AIG. I love you and my paycheck. On a similar note damn you federal income tax. I put my time in on "Fieldglass" our online schedule system. Apparently they've even kept me in the direct deposit. I noticed this when my "paycheck" was so poiniontly labeled "Notification of Deposit." So no rushing home to deposit anything. In no time the 2 small debts I've got will be vamoosh.
YIPPEEEEE
I mean REALLY paid.
Not Toys 'R Us, Electronics Boutique Express, Shop-Rite, or Computer Services Group paid. Those were all low-earning jobs.
God bless you AIG. I love you and my paycheck. On a similar note damn you federal income tax. I put my time in on "Fieldglass" our online schedule system. Apparently they've even kept me in the direct deposit. I noticed this when my "paycheck" was so poiniontly labeled "Notification of Deposit." So no rushing home to deposit anything. In no time the 2 small debts I've got will be vamoosh.
YIPPEEEEE
Twinkle Twinkle Toys R Us
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass...
Wrote this song? The WTO? It's like a primer on consumerism. Nothing like exposing kids to positive, empowering messages like "Keep screaming and I'll buy you crap."
Oh yeah and lets talk about something else too.
I get spam.
Date: Thu, 08 Jul 2004 19:04:31 +0400
From: alfernandezov@alderwild.com
Subject: These XXX pics are so hot you will regret not looking at them!!
Wow. I can only imagine.
Dr. Wallace: I believe we're ready, Dr. Yorn. Would you like to make the first incision?
Dr. Yorn: Hmm?
Doctor Wallace: The first incision, doctor?
Dr. Yorn: The -- oh, yes. Yes yes, right. Uh, let's see ... where's my scalpel? Oh, I'm holding it, hah hah.
Dr. Wallace: If you don't mind me saying so, your head doesn't really seem to be in the game today, Dr. Yorn. Are you okay?
Dr. Yorn: Oh, I'm fine, I guess. It's just ... I got an email this morning with some XXX pics, and, well, I deleted it unread. And now I kind of regret not looking at them, you know?
Dr. Wallace: The ones from alfernandezov at alderwild dot com?
Dr. Yorn: Yes, exactly!
Dr. Wallace: I got that email too. Oh man -- you missed out, bro. Those XXX pics were so hot.
Dr. Yorn: Damn it!
::sigh::
In other amazing news there are those who are better text-messagers than me:
World texting record
A Singaporean woman has set a world record for mobile-phone texting, keying in the benchmark phrase (below) in 43.24 seconds, without the benefit of any predictive text utilities.
"The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human."
You go Singapore!
Ok I love Tolkien but some geeks have taken it too far...
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng: the classic Tolkien translated into hacker 1337-speak.
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Top-ten Untranslateables
Here's a great census of the ten most untranslateable foreign and English words:
1 plenipotentiary
2 gobbledegook
3 serendipity
4 poppycock
5 googly
6 Spam
7 whimsy
8 bumf
9 chuffed
10 kitsch
Found this site the other day too www.coffeegeek.com
Never knew there was stuff made for coffee like this lol.
Alice In Wonderland Flashbook
OMG I almost peed myself. OfficeSpaceWars
Two mirrors of that cuz who knows how long they'll be hosted....:
http://freecache.org/http://stuff.ebnj.net/OfficeSpaceWars.wmv
http://freecache.org/http://www.tian.cc
THIS is a mad messed up story:
A student's scarlet letter
A student at at a Japanese high school dozed off in class last week. As punishment, his teacher made him write an apology letter.... in his own blood. Later, the teacher confessed to the principal. It gets even stranger. According to the principal, quoted in this Reuters article, the other faculty in the room didn't notice when the boy was handed a box cutter. Apparently, they didn't see him cut his own finger open and start writing either. Even more suspicious is that the teacher will be back at work in a few days and neither the boy nor his parents has asked for a transfer into a different class. Link
Wacky Japanese.
10 minutes and it's payday! BOOYAH. Looks like we're going to Dorney Park on Sunday too. HOTT since the last amusement park I went to (besides Fantasy Island at LBI which I don't get to go on any of the stuff there anyways, just the kids lol) was Busch Gardens down in Virginia in 2000 on our senior class trip. I'm looking forward to that.
In recent doings I've just been working all week. Saw Jess last night and we went out for dinner and then watched a dvd. Nice relaxing night after a very stressful day.
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass...
Wrote this song? The WTO? It's like a primer on consumerism. Nothing like exposing kids to positive, empowering messages like "Keep screaming and I'll buy you crap."
Oh yeah and lets talk about something else too.
I get spam.
Date: Thu, 08 Jul 2004 19:04:31 +0400
From: alfernandezov@alderwild.com
Subject: These XXX pics are so hot you will regret not looking at them!!
Wow. I can only imagine.
Dr. Wallace: I believe we're ready, Dr. Yorn. Would you like to make the first incision?
Dr. Yorn: Hmm?
Doctor Wallace: The first incision, doctor?
Dr. Yorn: The -- oh, yes. Yes yes, right. Uh, let's see ... where's my scalpel? Oh, I'm holding it, hah hah.
Dr. Wallace: If you don't mind me saying so, your head doesn't really seem to be in the game today, Dr. Yorn. Are you okay?
Dr. Yorn: Oh, I'm fine, I guess. It's just ... I got an email this morning with some XXX pics, and, well, I deleted it unread. And now I kind of regret not looking at them, you know?
Dr. Wallace: The ones from alfernandezov at alderwild dot com?
Dr. Yorn: Yes, exactly!
Dr. Wallace: I got that email too. Oh man -- you missed out, bro. Those XXX pics were so hot.
Dr. Yorn: Damn it!
::sigh::
In other amazing news there are those who are better text-messagers than me:
World texting record
A Singaporean woman has set a world record for mobile-phone texting, keying in the benchmark phrase (below) in 43.24 seconds, without the benefit of any predictive text utilities.
"The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human."
You go Singapore!
Ok I love Tolkien but some geeks have taken it too far...
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng: the classic Tolkien translated into hacker 1337-speak.
[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Top-ten Untranslateables
Here's a great census of the ten most untranslateable foreign and English words:
1 plenipotentiary
2 gobbledegook
3 serendipity
4 poppycock
5 googly
6 Spam
7 whimsy
8 bumf
9 chuffed
10 kitsch
Found this site the other day too www.coffeegeek.com
Never knew there was stuff made for coffee like this lol.
Alice In Wonderland Flashbook
OMG I almost peed myself. OfficeSpaceWars
Two mirrors of that cuz who knows how long they'll be hosted....:
http://freecache.org/http://stuff.ebnj.net/OfficeSpaceWars.wmv
http://freecache.org/http://www.tian.cc
THIS is a mad messed up story:
A student's scarlet letter
A student at at a Japanese high school dozed off in class last week. As punishment, his teacher made him write an apology letter.... in his own blood. Later, the teacher confessed to the principal. It gets even stranger. According to the principal, quoted in this Reuters article, the other faculty in the room didn't notice when the boy was handed a box cutter. Apparently, they didn't see him cut his own finger open and start writing either. Even more suspicious is that the teacher will be back at work in a few days and neither the boy nor his parents has asked for a transfer into a different class. Link
Wacky Japanese.
10 minutes and it's payday! BOOYAH. Looks like we're going to Dorney Park on Sunday too. HOTT since the last amusement park I went to (besides Fantasy Island at LBI which I don't get to go on any of the stuff there anyways, just the kids lol) was Busch Gardens down in Virginia in 2000 on our senior class trip. I'm looking forward to that.
In recent doings I've just been working all week. Saw Jess last night and we went out for dinner and then watched a dvd. Nice relaxing night after a very stressful day.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
I made everything on this site for you.
All those other people that log on don't understand the deep and personal connection that we share. I know we haven't spoken in person, but we communicate on a different level...you know that.
I know the slight but real difficulty that you have when trying to figure out the tip on a meal. I know the strange satisfaction that you associate with peeling a thick-skinned Navel orange. I know that sometimes, when no one is around, you smell things which you might not ordinarily think to smell. You think people say "excuse you" instead of "excuse me" when they pass you on the street. When you look in the mirror you hold your face in a way that is never duplicated in your ordinary life.
Sometimes you are overwhelmingly annoyed by the sound of candy wrappers in theaters. Sometimes you aren't.
That is why I like you the best.
Please don't tell the others
I Love You All,
-Peter
All those other people that log on don't understand the deep and personal connection that we share. I know we haven't spoken in person, but we communicate on a different level...you know that.
I know the slight but real difficulty that you have when trying to figure out the tip on a meal. I know the strange satisfaction that you associate with peeling a thick-skinned Navel orange. I know that sometimes, when no one is around, you smell things which you might not ordinarily think to smell. You think people say "excuse you" instead of "excuse me" when they pass you on the street. When you look in the mirror you hold your face in a way that is never duplicated in your ordinary life.
Sometimes you are overwhelmingly annoyed by the sound of candy wrappers in theaters. Sometimes you aren't.
That is why I like you the best.
Please don't tell the others
I Love You All,
-Peter
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I recently found two old parody lists-one of 2004 Resolutions I drafted up last January and the other of my personalized ways to annoy telemarketers. Here they are in all their, until now, unposted glory!
Pete's 2004 Resolutions
I promise to try sitting on the toilet while peeing, especially when it is dark and I am sleepy.
I promise not to let people take a shortcut on North Bridge Street by illegally turning left and then right onto 22.
I promise to enjoy my life as it happens rather than treating life experiences as if they were bullet points on a resume to be used later in my life.
I promise not to look up symptoms I have on the internet.
I promise not to pretend that I am scratching my upper lip when in fact I am smelling earwax or belly button cheese.
I promise to stop referring to people in my own age group as "kids."
I promise not to use the word "literally" as a way to make a phrase sound more important or urgent.
I promise not to replace the prefix "un" with "self" when I am speaking of my employment situation.
I promise to stage a one-man show in NYC.
I promise that when the nice woman at Starbuck's gives me a free Grande coffee, and I tip her $2, to realize that I am actually spending more money on coffee then if I paid for it.
I promise to moisturize my skin.
Pete's 20 Surefire Ways To Fight Back Against Telemarketers
1. Use a husky, dirty phone sex voice but ask normal questions about the proposed offer.
“Is it a low interest rate? mmmmm…I like low interest rates…really low…”
2. In an outrageously excited tone: “Thank god you called!!!” Explain that an online psychic told you that your future lover would randomly call disguised as an asshole.
3. Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.
4. Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter “s”. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat.
5. Be incredibly polite as they explain their offer, but make farting noises once in a while and ask whether there is something wrong with the connection.
6. In an annoyed tone cut the telemarketer off mid sentence : “Matt, stop screwing around…we have to get rid of this body fast, did you find a chainsaw or not?”
7. “Congratulations! You’re the 100th caller on the (insert local radio station) Sweet Vacation Giveaway Blast Marathon. You’ve just won a pair of tickets to Negril, Jamaica and the use of Sean Paul’s celebrity vacation house.” Take down her address and send her all of your junk mail for life.
8. Flirt.
9. Keep repeating, “I knew you were going to say that…”
10. Stutter on a syllable of an obvious word in a sentence… see how long it takes before he completes the phrase. When he does, get upset, and say “That really hurts my fee…fee… fee… fee…feel…fee… fee… fee…” ad infinitum.
11. Pee on the phone while he’s talking.
12. Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice “May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary”
13. Ask how much it would take to get him to stop working as a telemarketer. Start at $1,000. Say you are dead serious.
14. Ask if he will be your friend if you sign up.
15. Tie obscure facts about Barbara Streisand to everything thing he says,, “2.3% interest rate? Oh my…Did you know Barbara was 23 when she filmed Funny Girl…”
16. Every few minutes repeat, “You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem…who is this again?”
17. “Oh my god, I used to have your job…does Bob still work there (repeat names until you find a match)…which building are you in?” Escalate coincidence until you both realize that you sat in the same chair. Explain that you had to quit work when your genitals mysteriously vanished.
18. Regardless of the offer tell him you’ll take 7. If he asks what you mean say he drives a hard bargain and you’ll take 9, but that’s as far as you’ll go.
19. Every half-minute ask him to hold and pretend to scream at your invalid mother. “You want to use the bathroom??? Well stop whining and get up out of the wheelchair for a change. You just sit there and think about that for a while, mother. Can’t you see I’m on the damn phone?”
20. Forgive him. Tell him you did. Over and over again, until he hangs up. Then secretly take it back.
Guaranteed to all work by my own testing methods.
Pete's 2004 Resolutions
I promise to try sitting on the toilet while peeing, especially when it is dark and I am sleepy.
I promise not to let people take a shortcut on North Bridge Street by illegally turning left and then right onto 22.
I promise to enjoy my life as it happens rather than treating life experiences as if they were bullet points on a resume to be used later in my life.
I promise not to look up symptoms I have on the internet.
I promise not to pretend that I am scratching my upper lip when in fact I am smelling earwax or belly button cheese.
I promise to stop referring to people in my own age group as "kids."
I promise not to use the word "literally" as a way to make a phrase sound more important or urgent.
I promise not to replace the prefix "un" with "self" when I am speaking of my employment situation.
I promise to stage a one-man show in NYC.
I promise that when the nice woman at Starbuck's gives me a free Grande coffee, and I tip her $2, to realize that I am actually spending more money on coffee then if I paid for it.
I promise to moisturize my skin.
Pete's 20 Surefire Ways To Fight Back Against Telemarketers
1. Use a husky, dirty phone sex voice but ask normal questions about the proposed offer.
“Is it a low interest rate? mmmmm…I like low interest rates…really low…”
2. In an outrageously excited tone: “Thank god you called!!!” Explain that an online psychic told you that your future lover would randomly call disguised as an asshole.
3. Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.
4. Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter “s”. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat.
5. Be incredibly polite as they explain their offer, but make farting noises once in a while and ask whether there is something wrong with the connection.
6. In an annoyed tone cut the telemarketer off mid sentence : “Matt, stop screwing around…we have to get rid of this body fast, did you find a chainsaw or not?”
7. “Congratulations! You’re the 100th caller on the (insert local radio station) Sweet Vacation Giveaway Blast Marathon. You’ve just won a pair of tickets to Negril, Jamaica and the use of Sean Paul’s celebrity vacation house.” Take down her address and send her all of your junk mail for life.
8. Flirt.
9. Keep repeating, “I knew you were going to say that…”
10. Stutter on a syllable of an obvious word in a sentence… see how long it takes before he completes the phrase. When he does, get upset, and say “That really hurts my fee…fee… fee… fee…feel…fee… fee… fee…” ad infinitum.
11. Pee on the phone while he’s talking.
12. Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice “May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary”
13. Ask how much it would take to get him to stop working as a telemarketer. Start at $1,000. Say you are dead serious.
14. Ask if he will be your friend if you sign up.
15. Tie obscure facts about Barbara Streisand to everything thing he says,, “2.3% interest rate? Oh my…Did you know Barbara was 23 when she filmed Funny Girl…”
16. Every few minutes repeat, “You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem…who is this again?”
17. “Oh my god, I used to have your job…does Bob still work there (repeat names until you find a match)…which building are you in?” Escalate coincidence until you both realize that you sat in the same chair. Explain that you had to quit work when your genitals mysteriously vanished.
18. Regardless of the offer tell him you’ll take 7. If he asks what you mean say he drives a hard bargain and you’ll take 9, but that’s as far as you’ll go.
19. Every half-minute ask him to hold and pretend to scream at your invalid mother. “You want to use the bathroom??? Well stop whining and get up out of the wheelchair for a change. You just sit there and think about that for a while, mother. Can’t you see I’m on the damn phone?”
20. Forgive him. Tell him you did. Over and over again, until he hangs up. Then secretly take it back.
Guaranteed to all work by my own testing methods.
Haikus dedicated to my neutered dog, Toby.
Now I awaken
Gone forever my gonads
My vengeance will come
Where are my balls at?
Where are my fucking balls at?
Shit I lost my balls!
Rose petals fall soft
on my soul's Chinese garden.
I miss my testes.
My bark is stronger
Than my bite, but several
octaves higher now.
On a brighter note:
The ladies will finally
Love me for my mind
I should not have humped
The punishment does not fit
Is there no justice?
in bed with your girl
you, my callous oppressor
so what if I watch
vain apologist
there's no emptiness like this
screw your snausages
you toss beggin strips
as if I'd beg for bacon
I'd rather have eggs
dearest testicles,
you were taken while I slept.
see you in heaven.
A squeaky porkchop
Is my only pleasure now
Since the castration
what will i lick now
that you've stolen my mouth balls
i guess yours will do
sad but resolute
pruned tree stands strong in the breeze
part of me is gone
why did you do that?
you would not do that to me
must have been the cat
no puppies for me
an eternal bachelor
chasing butterflies
How did I get here?
Feeling ever so drowsy.
Where did my nuts go?
Orchidectomy
Big word, huge consequences
For such a small dog
My balls, they are gone
I can no longer lick them
Shit shit shit shit shit
I'm sorry Toby.
I didn't want to get you neutered.
Now I awaken
Gone forever my gonads
My vengeance will come
Where are my balls at?
Where are my fucking balls at?
Shit I lost my balls!
Rose petals fall soft
on my soul's Chinese garden.
I miss my testes.
My bark is stronger
Than my bite, but several
octaves higher now.
On a brighter note:
The ladies will finally
Love me for my mind
I should not have humped
The punishment does not fit
Is there no justice?
in bed with your girl
you, my callous oppressor
so what if I watch
vain apologist
there's no emptiness like this
screw your snausages
you toss beggin strips
as if I'd beg for bacon
I'd rather have eggs
dearest testicles,
you were taken while I slept.
see you in heaven.
A squeaky porkchop
Is my only pleasure now
Since the castration
what will i lick now
that you've stolen my mouth balls
i guess yours will do
sad but resolute
pruned tree stands strong in the breeze
part of me is gone
why did you do that?
you would not do that to me
must have been the cat
no puppies for me
an eternal bachelor
chasing butterflies
How did I get here?
Feeling ever so drowsy.
Where did my nuts go?
Orchidectomy
Big word, huge consequences
For such a small dog
My balls, they are gone
I can no longer lick them
Shit shit shit shit shit
I'm sorry Toby.
I didn't want to get you neutered.
Know this:
If there are two pillows,
and one is soft while the other is scratchy and a bit too large.
I will sleep take the scratchy one.
If there are two chairs,
and one faces the ocean and the other faces the stairs.
I will turn my back to the ocean.
If there is a lightly buttered piece of toast,
and the other is black.
I will scrape it.
If there is an umbrella and an old newspaper.
I will open it to the sports section and lay it over a puddle.
If there is a rock and a smooth place.
I will sleep crooked.
If there is pain to be had.
I will swallow it whole.
If there are two pillows,
and one is soft while the other is scratchy and a bit too large.
I will sleep take the scratchy one.
If there are two chairs,
and one faces the ocean and the other faces the stairs.
I will turn my back to the ocean.
If there is a lightly buttered piece of toast,
and the other is black.
I will scrape it.
If there is an umbrella and an old newspaper.
I will open it to the sports section and lay it over a puddle.
If there is a rock and a smooth place.
I will sleep crooked.
If there is pain to be had.
I will swallow it whole.
LULLABY
Hush little girl
Sweet sweet baby don't cry, tonight
Daddy's here and he'll sing you a soft lullaby, tonight
Why can't it all be like it was before
How can I explain why Mommy's not here anymore
'Cause Daddy likes porno and ten dollar whores
Daddy gets wasted robs liquor stores
Daddy likes rubbing little boys on the bus
I think that's why Mommy left us
Hush little girl there is no reason to fret, tonight
Don't mind the smoke Daddy just wants to forget....tonight
Soon it will all be like it was before
Any minute she will walk through that front door
But Daddy plays poker and drinks lots of beer
Then he wants sex that involves Mommy's rear
Daddy has sores on his genitals oozing with puss
I think that's why Mommy left us
Please don't cry, I swear I'll try
To be here by your side
Right after Daddy gets home from the bar
Visits his bookie and steals a new car
He'll drive to the strip club
and if Daddy plays his cards right
He'll bring your new Mommy home tonight
Hush little girl
Sweet sweet baby don't cry, tonight
Daddy's here and he'll sing you a soft lullaby, tonight
Why can't it all be like it was before
How can I explain why Mommy's not here anymore
'Cause Daddy likes porno and ten dollar whores
Daddy gets wasted robs liquor stores
Daddy likes rubbing little boys on the bus
I think that's why Mommy left us
Hush little girl there is no reason to fret, tonight
Don't mind the smoke Daddy just wants to forget....tonight
Soon it will all be like it was before
Any minute she will walk through that front door
But Daddy plays poker and drinks lots of beer
Then he wants sex that involves Mommy's rear
Daddy has sores on his genitals oozing with puss
I think that's why Mommy left us
Please don't cry, I swear I'll try
To be here by your side
Right after Daddy gets home from the bar
Visits his bookie and steals a new car
He'll drive to the strip club
and if Daddy plays his cards right
He'll bring your new Mommy home tonight
Monday, July 12, 2004
Well it's another week beginning BLAH. The weekend was good though. Friday was jsut some hanging out and then off to the Cheesecake Factory at Menlo...which was packed so Applebee's had to suffice. Half-priced appy's after 10pm! And nothing beats the Cheesey Bacon Tavern Chips. Ever. Period.. Saturday I went to a graduation party (not a college one, and not a highschool one either...a junior-high one lol) with Jess and got to meet her mother. Who loves me apparently, which is good. Saw Anchorman that Saturday night, pretty funny, but I still think Old School ranks as my favorite Ferrell movie to date. "Where'd you get a hand grenade?" ... "I don't know?" Or Jack Black's great cameo: "That's how I roll!" "I'm going to punch you in your ovary." And of course the best "Goodnight and fuck you San Diego." Heheh. Ended up chilling the majority of Sunday, but then saw King Arthur last night. Not bad, not an Oscar-winner either. It had its moments. And the guy who played Arthur was pretty cool. Oddly a lot of the actors were in Black Hawk Down. Maybe it was the same director/producer...I'll have to look into it. It's PAY week and I'm eagerly looking forward to THURSDAY. Please Lord pay me. Pay me well. Pay me soon. Yay. Going to be a BUSY ass week though since I've got 5 new projects on my plate and I'm expected to pull them all off simultaneously. Woo-hoo, (When I hear heavy-metal). Back to work, thine lunch hour is OV-ER.
Here are some of my favorite Family Guy quotes to keep you occumapied:
Peter: "I want the father-son relationship that the Gumbles have."
Lois: "Peter, the Gumbles are brothers."
Peter: "Oh, so just because they're black, we can't learn anything from them?"
Peter: "Don't worry, I read a book on this once."
Brian: "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't...nothing?"
Peter: "Oh yeaaah."
Tom Tucker: "And now here's Ali Williams with our black-u-weather report. Ali?"
Black guy: "It's gon rain!"
Black Knight: "You see that there, kids? Your father's nothing but a fizzle!"
Peter: "Hey, no one calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today, only half the people who called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it."
[Men standing in the road after Y2K explosions] Man: "Halt!"
Peter: "Wow, you guys survived the apocalypse too?"
Men: "To pass, you must answer the following question correctly. Do you have any food?"
Peter: "No, we were going to Nadick to the Twinkee Factory."
Man: "Hm. Well, if you could bring one thing on a picnic, what would you bring?"
[answering at the same time] Chris: "A kitty!", Meg: "A boyfriend!", Lois: "Potato salad.", Stewie: "A dead Lois."
Peter: "Ok, I think we're going with potato salad."
Man: [Points to right] "Show me potato salad!" [nothing is there]
Peter: "Let's get the hell out of here
Here are some of my favorite Family Guy quotes to keep you occumapied:
Peter: "I want the father-son relationship that the Gumbles have."
Lois: "Peter, the Gumbles are brothers."
Peter: "Oh, so just because they're black, we can't learn anything from them?"
Peter: "Don't worry, I read a book on this once."
Brian: "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't...nothing?"
Peter: "Oh yeaaah."
Tom Tucker: "And now here's Ali Williams with our black-u-weather report. Ali?"
Black guy: "It's gon rain!"
Black Knight: "You see that there, kids? Your father's nothing but a fizzle!"
Peter: "Hey, no one calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off. He got away with it. But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today, only half the people who called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it."
[Men standing in the road after Y2K explosions] Man: "Halt!"
Peter: "Wow, you guys survived the apocalypse too?"
Men: "To pass, you must answer the following question correctly. Do you have any food?"
Peter: "No, we were going to Nadick to the Twinkee Factory."
Man: "Hm. Well, if you could bring one thing on a picnic, what would you bring?"
[answering at the same time] Chris: "A kitty!", Meg: "A boyfriend!", Lois: "Potato salad.", Stewie: "A dead Lois."
Peter: "Ok, I think we're going with potato salad."
Man: [Points to right] "Show me potato salad!" [nothing is there]
Peter: "Let's get the hell out of here
