Someone asked me recently what I look for and what I think about love. I compiled a list of one or two sentences over a weeks time and this was the result:

In a serious, long-term relationship I want personal growth. I want equality, not dominance. I want real love from her, not mere dizzy obedience. In a long-term partner, I want a woman who demands respect, who has her own opinions, goals and ideals. I want a woman who wants to be an equal partner with me, who will support me in everything I do and receive the same in return from me. I enjoy life most when it’s the two of us working together, focusing our energies on improving both our lives instead of me expending energy keeping her uncomfortable and her expending energy trying to keep me happy.

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
(...)
Silent Bob: [to Holden] So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk.

Jay: Fucking-A.

Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...

[Silent Bob lights a cigarette]

Silent Bob: So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy...

[takes a drag from his smoke]

Silent Bob: So to speak.

Want to know what the Lost numbers really mean?

Wow this guy has issues.

It's a long hard road out of hell. Lucky for Britney Spears she's nowhere near that raod. If her "comeback" performance at the MTV awards was any indication prepare for the rapture.

And a little more wisdom from Britney...



PS: Man Brit had a huge ass nose when she started out.

Britney is the best mom ever. Seriously.

The Sopranos Ending

****Spoilers abound below so don't read if you don't want to know****

So it's over. I didn't get to watch the finale until 5 hours after it aired, since I was at a concert in the city. I loved the majority of the episode until the ending. Phil Leotardo got whacked as everyone expected but it wasn't as gratuitous as anyone would have hoped or come to expect from the series. In fact all I thought when I saw the car roll over his head post-cap-busting was that it was a scene ripped off from Six Feet Under. The famous "beginning death" of all those episodes had one where a guy has a heart attack getting out of his car in his driveway, and his melon explodes open. Didn't come across original for me at all, and ended up being more comical with the 2 grandkids in the backseat than anything.

Going in there were SO many possibilities.

-Would Tony die? (No.)
-Would Tony's kids die? (No.)
-Would he be betrayed by someone from his crew? (No.)
-Would AJ do something ridiculous? (No.)
-Would the missing Russian from the Pine Barrens return?! (No.)
-Would Meadow not be able to park for 20 minutes? (Yes.)
-Would be see onion rings and a Jersey diner? (Yes.)

Hell I live in NJ, I know what the diners are like. I love the onion rings, but come on what a cheap cheap cut to black ending. I don't buy the critics and existentialist s blathering on that Chase was "staying true" to the show or himself. If you look at every season finale from him there was at least a feeling of resolution, even if nothing was actually resolved. Season 2 or 3 really sticks out in my mind where they play the Rolling Stones' "Waiting On A Call From You" while they pan around everyone going about their daily business like normal. The shot cuts to the Jersey coast, the ocean water where Big Pussy is now "swimming with the fishes." THAT was a powerful ending, even though we got nothing neatly tied up.

Did THAT ending answer any future questions? No, tons of things were left in the air but it was a brilliant ending. Using a very popular Journey song just felt like a cop-out (even though they've sampled much Journey in the shows soundtrack before a music-director's favorite to be sure as was Annie Lennox or The Eurythmics) and an insult.

Chase has stated that they weren't trying to mess with anyone but how could you NOT know that an ending like that would split fans? Rumors were flying wild that 2 other endings were shot and would only be included on the DVD which, if it were actually true, would be the most ridiculous thing yet.

"The line to cancel HBO starts here," wrote Hollywood analyst Nikke Finke on her Deadline Hollywood Web site. "What a ridiculously disappointing end. ... Even if David Chase ... was demonstrating the existential and endless loop of Tony's life or the moments before the hit that causes his death, it still robbed the audience of visual closure. And if it were done to segue into a motion picture sequel, then that kind of crass commercialism shouldn't be tolerated. There's even buzz that the real ending will only be available on the series' final DVD. Either way, it was terrible."

I couldn't agree more. I've come to expect more and instead I got:

-AJ's catalytic converter ignites his car
-Carmela builds houses
-Meadow parking for 20 minutes
-Tony back where he started, not in therapy and none-improved
-Paulie as superstitious as ever
-Silvio in a (un-Tony-like) dreamless coma
-"Don't Stop Believing" cut off while we're teased at Tony dying.

At least I can't say in the final episode there wasn't @(#$%!'in ziti.

My brother's commercial for Dawn dish detergent won out as the opening ad for the advertisement bid. It's rating was "off the charts" with a CEI of 224.



Way to go bro. He wrote and directed the entire thing.

I'm a big fan of the woot website. They offer decent tech at ridiculously low prices. They're pretty hilarious too, as judged by this excerpt from today's woot deal:

"She left today. I think it’s for good this time. See, while she was at work, I was supposed to call Chez Casa and make a reservation for our anniversary dinner. I meant to, I really did. But when I woke up, around eleven, Chez Casa wasn’t open yet. So I started playing around with my Toshiba DVD Recorder/VCR D-VR4, and, well, the next thing I knew, she was getting home from work and asking what time our reservation was for. From there, it was all “you love that full-featured, progressive-scan DVD player and recorder more than you love me” and “you’d rather record your VHS tapes to DVD-R than make love to me.” Pretty typical stuff.

I could barely be bothered to argue. Truth is, I was just waiting for her to leave me alone like everyone else does, so I could get back to my Toshiba D-VR4. Maybe that makes me a bad person. I don’t care. What can she, or anyone else, give me that I can’t get from my Toshiba? Can she store up to 12 hours of audio and video on a 4.7GB double-sided DVD-RAM (not included)? Do any of my former friends offer time-shifting functionality, so I don’t miss my favorite TV shows while I’m doing other things? (Not that I ever do other things, but still, it’s a matter of principle.) I admit, much of a woman’s body is a mystery to me. But if she can play DVDs, CDs, VHS tapes, MP3 discs, and JPEG photo discs, I never found the slot to put them in. And now I never will.

I guess I should be upset about that. I suppose I should’ve begged, pleaded, sworn that I’d change. But I’ve done that before, and let’s face it, it didn’t mean a thing. As the words were coming out of my mouth, I was caressing my Toshiba DVD Recorder/VCR D-VR4 in my mind. Just like I am right now. She left today. And I can’t feel a thing."

Guitar Hero 3: Rock The 80s has released a partial tracklist:

* I Wanna Rock (by Twisted Sister)
* I Ran (by Flock of Seagulls)
* Round and Round (as made famous by Ratt)
* I Want Candy (as made famous by Bow Wow Wow)
* Metal Health (as made famous by Quiet Riot)
* Holy Diver (as made famous by Dio)
* Heat Of The Moment (as made famous by Asia)

Excited isn't even the word. I mean ASIA...and Quiet Riot? AHHHHHHH!

This is why the 80s were awesome.


Seriously you could just call this video a Grand Theft Auto Vice City trailer and it would have been gold.

Funniest episode of 21 Jump Street Ever.


Fast forward to about 5minutes or 9, I think to see Johnny Depp slap a kid. It's been parodied all over the net, and I finally know how much of an idiot the kid was being to deserve it.

Oh dear God. Please think of the children.

Paula Abdul reportedly went diva on a recent flight and demanded special treatment. A source tells Star:

"She pulled a major diva trip. The other passengers were not amused. She asked to be let on the plane and seated first." When Abdul was told that only young children, people with disabilities and the elderly were allowed to board early, she reportedly declared, "But I'm famous! I need to go on first!" A number of fellow passengers heard the exchange, and one shouted at her: "You're no Sanjaya! You have to board like everyone else." That, according to the source, prompted a round of laughter from the others - except Abdul"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA.

:P

I've been waiting for the Grand Theft Auto IV fallout to begin. And so it has!

Kotaku has an article up about the recent "politicos" in NYC ranting and raving about how this violent video game is set to take place in New York City.

"Take-Two just can't catch a break. After the ousting of it's CEO earlier this week, their impressive new trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV hit the internets to many a gamer's delight. But apparently not everyone was excited to see it. I don't think there's any confusion over the fact that the setting for the new title is based completely on New York City, a fact that did not escape the notice and ire of NYC's political leaders. A New York Daily News article has a plethora of uninformed quotes by politicos that are all worthy of reading, but I will list the best ones right here:

Setting Grand Theft Auto in the safest big city in America would be like setting Halo in Disneyland - City Councilman Peter Vallone

The mayor does not support any video game where you earn points for injuring or killing police officers, - Jason Post, spokesman for Mayor Bloomberg.

and even this quote taken directly from the writers of the article...

In previous incarnations, players advanced through the game by killing cops, selling pornography to children and killing prostitutes."

Flynn De Marco goes onto state:

"I'm not even going to begin to delve into the myriad inaccuracies in these quotes, I'll leave that for you to do in the comments. But what I will say is that the hypocrisy happening here is overwhelming. What makes this any worse than the countless films in which NYC is depicted as the home to murderers, rapists and con-men? And what about the ones where the city is completely destroyed outright by outside forces? I have the feeling that if GTA IV had been a movie and Take Two was paying the city for its use, the reactions from these sanctimonious blow hards would be quite different."

Hell Heroes takes place mostly in NYC and involves the apocalypse but you don't see anyone complaining about that. All the lawyers are rushing home to watch on Monday nights.

Ahh New Jersey. Your wretched hive of scum and villainy never cease to amaze me.

Can't express how glad I am to never have to be in that area of the state again.

Ahh the Fake Real Interview With Steve Jobs

A little late April foolness for you :)

Laughing...too....hard

http://pokeafrica.ytmnd.com/

Halle Berry recently told Parade magazine that she tried to commit suicide in the past. Apparently the incident was over her failed first marriage and she was to do the deed by asphyxiation by car exhaust.

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again."

It's always sad when beautiful people try to take their own lives. I got pretty depressed once because I finished a delicious sandwich and wanted more, so I tried to kill myself by picking a fight with a gang of hoodlums. Unfortunately my instincts kicked in and I beat them all up, but the moral of the story is: beating up hoodlums and taking their money is a great way to get sandwich money.

Wait, what happened? I just blacked out and all I remember was Halle not being a coward...

I'm a big fan of game mods. Sometimes the release version of a game isn't quite up to par with what it could have been. (Heroes of Might and Magic V I'm looking at you ::sigh::)

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was an awesome game, and one that I seem to keep "coming back to" between other games. It was really the first RPG out for the 360 and the size of the world is pretty amazing. One of the major annoyances was that the developers instituted a "level scaling" monsters/enemies. This means that as your character leveled up and became stronger, the enemies leveled up with him. While this might sound good in theory it got kind of ridiculous fighting a "Super Rat" or Skeletor when you were a high level. The point of leveling up is to strengthen your character to some serious kick-assery later in the game. Level scaling basically made that obsolete.

This is one way that Oblivion won out as a PC game over the XBox 360 version. The PC version was moddable by fans who have made a slew of good additions. Eliminating level scaling, or limiting enemies to scale only to a maximum level improved the game greatly.

However not all mods are as practical. Take for instance this "Disco Spell." Certainly good for a laugh :)

"Simon Cowell went so far as to say if Malakar wins, he'll quit."

At least Simon's speaking some sense.

Brian Ashcraft, one of my favorite game journalists, has a new editorial piece up on Kotaku called "The Colossus and the Comedian." It discusses how the game Shadow of the Colossus was worked into the (released today} movie Reign Over Me.

I've been looking forward to this movie for some time now. I saw a preview a long time ago, maybe last July, and remember telling all my friends about it. No one else had seen the trailer and I couldn't find one online anywhere. I couldn't even remember WHICH movie I'd seen it was in the previews for. I saw another trailer for it in November which was a bit more extended, and the same result ensued. Let me pause for a minute and say I've got a great appreciation for Adam Sandler's acting ability. Most people know him as a lovable buffoon from SNL, his comedy CDs or his comedy movies. If you've never seen Punch Drunk Love you owe it to yourself to go and rent that film immediately. It's an owner if you're a dvd-buyer. It was the first really serious role I'd ever seen him in, and he followed it up two years later with Spanglish.

Adam Sandler could act. Really act.

Close friends know how much of a film aficionado I consider myself and I usually take more out of movies than most. Perhaps I loved both films because of their sense of realism. They were firmly rooted in reality and while both had sort-of happy endings the turmoil and strife needed to get there in both were something you don't see much nowadays. Punch Drunk Love especially was a beautifully shot film. The art style was something else. Sandler's character, Barry, could have come off as a moron, but his portrayal left him oozing oddities. He felt like the everyman but unique. He was clumsy, awkward and ended up being a hero to the only person it really mattered...himself.

But back to Shadow of the Colossus...that article from Ashcraft is a really awesome look into how the game made it into the movie. It's cool Sandler was on board with the idea and pushed for it. Ironically I'm actually playing through it currently. It's one of the most artistic games I've played in a long, long time.


It feels like a barren and lonely world, and it's basically a story about a man trying to do the bidding of his god to bring back his dead wife. I couldn't think of a better game they'd have used. Much better than some stock bs shoot 'em up.

Here's a 22 month-old playing Wii Tennis.

http://gamedrift.com/articles.php?a=333

Extra hilarity when he gets so excited he knocks himself over and cracks up.

"Every so often we witness one of those television moments that make us stand-up from our assumed couch potato positions and say "WOW, thank you for TV." "The Man from Tallahassee" had two of those moments including one that answered a long asked Lost question. Add to that the fantastic dialogue between John Locke and Benjamin Linus, plus the emotionally charged scene involving Jack and Kate, and you're left with a solid hour of television." -IGN review of "The Man from Tallahassee"

My thoughts exactly.

Thank god the last few episodes have been getting better. I was worried the show was headed down to suckerville.

Like Kryptonite. Can't...move...Child....too....cute.

So glad they found the lost boyscout.

When I think of "defining" bands of my generation a few always come to mind. Green Day, Blink 182, No Doubt and Third Eye Blind. Man did I love when Semi-Charmed Life came out. And for the longest time I couldn't get into Wounded from the Blue album. I saw them live at PNC along with Splender who I also loved. That concert was amazing and now this is one of my favorite TEB songs.

Wounded

The guy who put his hands on you
Has got nothing to do with me
And the bruises that you feel will heal
And I hope you'll come around
'Cause we're missing you
And you used to speak so easy
Now you're afraid to talk to me
It's like walking with the wounded
Carrying that weight way too far
The concrete pulled you down so hard
Out there with the wounded
Missing you
Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
But my fingers catch sparks at the thought of touching you
When you're wounded
Let me break it down 'till I force the issue
We miss your face and you know I wish you
Would come back down the the Dalva Bar
You tell 'em, that's just my battle scar
I want to kiss you
And knock 'em down like we used to
You're the marigold
Till you're walking down shaking that ass again
And then you walk on, baby walk on, you walk on, on and on
You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air
And we're missing you
Now it's fall, and your shoulders get tighter
Nervous flicks on the lighter, boots
Your pissed off poets, your women's groups
And the friends with you, we should have known this fool
Well I guess we missed the mark
Still my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of them touching you
Now you're wounded
Let me break it down 'till I force the issue
You never come around, and you know we miss you
Well nobody took your pride away
I said, that's something people say
Back down the bully to the back of the bus
'Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
'Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball
Then you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on, on and on
You're a summer time hottie with her socks in the air
You're screaming I don't care baby I don't care
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow
All I know is we're missing you
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow
All I know is we're missing you
Show up, show up wounded
Show up, show up wounded

I lol'd hard.



For the uninformed, that's Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario and many other lovable Nintendo characters. The simple fact that he agreed to do this little spot shows how much character he has and that he hasn't been jaded by fame even after 20+ years.

Woman arrested on DUI charge after driving on A.C. Boardwalk

Only in New Jersey ahhhh.

Worried about satellites spying on you?

You should be.

Google Maps can be hacked to zoom into even greater resolutions. Camels, water ping pong, sun-tanning on the beach. Seems like no one's safe!

Alright this has to stop.

It was odd and amusing the first time it happened but more and more teachers are sleeping with their students. We expect more from you. Hell when I was 14 the teacher wouldn't even let me bang the erasers. What the hell is happening?

The stepmother of the kid wrote into Penny Arcade:

Gabe,

Your news post about the kids and the homeless man yesterday made me sick to my stomach, before I even read the CNN article. I knew what it was going to be about before even reading the article. It was not the article itself, or even your post that made me sick, it was the fact that I know this boy. Or, rather that I could be considered one of the “parents” of this boy.

The boy’s father and I have been together for almost seven years, and I had what I guess could be called a “stepmother” relationship with the kid. To say that living with this kid was hell would be a complete understatement.

I don’t think I have ever actively hated anyone in my entire life, but this kid just makes my blood boil.

As I write this, my teeth are clenched, my hands are shaking, and my whole body is seething with the hatred I feel for this kid and what he has done. Seeing the article brings back all the horrible memories from when he lived with us.

He was constantly in trouble in school, with the cops, with us, with his mother, and with anyone else who was an authority figure. Not a week went by that the school or the cops wouldn’t call us for something. His attitude was basically “fuck you, I don’t have to listen to you” said with a shrug.

We tried absolutely everything we could think of to get him to behave like a normal human being… we tried groundings, negative reinforcement / punishment, positive reinforcement, counseling, and anything and everything the counselors suggested. We tried to get him interested and involved in extracurricular activities, like hockey, drama, music, art, anything, but he got himself kicked out of every group he was in with his “make me” attitude. When we would ground him, we took away everything. No TV, no computer, no phone, no leaving the house, no snacks or junk food…. Everything. When he was grounded, he was only allowed to sit in his room and read or draw. He was actually a pretty good artist, and we tried to encourage him to spend his time working with his talent. He would just sit there and take it… the groundings had absolutely no affect on him at all. Most of the time, he didn’t even remember why he was being grounded. At the end of it, we would ask him if it was worth it to have everything taken away in exchange for what he did… he usually just shrugged. He could be grounded for weeks, or a month at a time, and then the very next day would do something to get back in trouble again. Most kids get grounded or punished a couple of times, and then they want to avoid having to go through it again… not this kid, nothing seemed to phase him.

And we’re not talking the usual teenager stuff, like coming home late, or refusing to do the dishes. We’re talking stealing cars, setting fires, drinking, getting picked up for drugs, beating up handicapped kids at school (yes, really) stealing things out of our house… all with this “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want” attitude.

We had absolutely no idea what else we could do. We already had him in counseling, and we did everything the counselors suggested. We tried rewarding his good behavior (what little there was) to try to get him to see that when he behaves like a normal human being, things are good and people enjoy being around him. Nothing phased him at all.

Then, things took an even worse turn when he decided that whenever he didn’t get his way, or we did something he didn’t like, he told his counselors and teachers that we were abusing him. (Never happened.) And for some inexplicable reason, everybody believed him. I understand that child abuse is a very serious situation, and that they have to take every possible case seriously, but this was clearly a case of him manipulating people to get what he wanted. We had people from the school, cops, and social services over at our house or calling us on a weekly basis stating some new abuse that he had made up. At 14, the boy was already 6’3” and over 200 pounds. Of course, there was never a mark on him, because no such abuse ever took place.

One particular night (cops involved, as always) he decided that he didn’t have to listen to anything we said, and that he wasn’t coming home. He went to live with his mother, where things got worse by the day. He stole everything out of her home and sold it. He invited gang-bangers and drug dealers to her home, and she feared for her safety constantly. She called the cops numerous times because she feared for her safety, but again, the boy said that she abused him, and the cops always took his side. (For reference, the mother is about 5’3” and barely clocks in at 115.) He planted a loaded gun in her room, called the cops and told them that it belonged to the mother’s boyfriend. The boyfriend actually ended up serving time because of this fucking bastard kid. She had two other young children in the house, and the gun and the abuse charges were an intentional plot to get the other two kids taken away from her. She tried restraining orders against the kid, but since he was a minor, they wouldn’t allow it. Every time he got picked up, she pleaded with the cops to take him to jail, maybe that would finally get though to him, but they just kept bringing him home to her. I don’t understand why everyone who was involved with this kid just blindly took this juvenile delinquent’s word over all else!

The night that he and his friends murdered that poor homeless man, the mother said that he was acting particularly cocky. Then he threatened to kill her. We had absolutely no idea of what he had done until they found the man’s body. He was immediately waived into adult court (at 15) and sentenced to 15 years. We were all absolutely sick with grief for this man.

We were also sick with guilt… “What could we have done differently?” was a constant question in all of our heads. After the kid was sentenced, all the cops, counselors, social workers, and people at the school that had been dealing with him contacted us and his mother and apologized for not taking us seriously. They are all trained to take all accusations of child abuse seriously, and as a part of that they blindly took the kid’s side for everything, and dismissed us as “the lying abusers”. Many of them told us that they wished they would have taken our pleas for help seriously. Everyone thought we were exaggerating about how fucked up this kid was.

I completely agree with your statement of “These kids were twelve kinds of nuts and that’s a fact.” But the reason I am writing this to you is that, after reading your news post yesterday, I felt that I needed to defend the boy’s parents. His mother and father and I did absolutely everything we could think of to try to keep this kid in line. Even the kinds of things that normal teenagers get in trouble for would have been a blessing compared to what we’ve been through with him.

What I gave you today is a very small sampling of the kinds of things we were dealing with every single fucking day with this kid. When people hear about what he’s done, I can always sense the “I’m sure there was something you could have done” comment coming up. What would you have done? How do you deal with a kid like this? Like I said, we did everything the counselors suggested, and nothing seemed to matter.

If you want to add another element to the “nature vs. nurture” idea, this boy has a brother. Both boys were raised in the same house, with the same values. The brother has developed into a kind, considerate, responsible, and independent young man. He is currently working his butt off right now to save up money to go to school for architecture. The only thing I regret is that we spent so much time and energy dealing with the bad kid that this boy missed out on having a normal family life with a normal sibling relationship.

I am sorry this got so long. I have been reading PA since the very beginning, and I feel that both of you are very much like me. I think we are the same age (29) and I have been a lifelong gamer like the two of you. I can’t stand hearing about the so-called correlation between games and real-life violence. Video games DID NOT make this kid who he was, and it’s unfortunate that the correlation is there.

The thing that really gets me with this whole thing is that the kid knows full well that by equating what he’s done to a video game, that he will generate controversy and media coverage. It makes me sick that the media is jumping all over this, because that is exactly the result that he wants.

The only good thing (if there is such a thing) that has come out of this whole ordeal is that the kid is behind bars. That is exactly where he needs to be.

Again, I’m sorry about the length of this. Thanks for allowing me to “tell my side” of the story.

Some children just can't be helped no matter what you do for them. It's a sad fact.

Hear about the kids who beat the homeless guy to death? One of them then likened it to playing a "violent video game." That pissed me off because the last thing the industry needs is more false press. I think Penny-Arcade's Gabe hit it right on the head with this quote:

"What kind of crazy fuck takes poop from his butt and rubs it on someone? I’ll tell you right now I’ve never seen that in Grand Theft Auto."

It was an upset
In two minutes flat
We're back on the freeway
Foot to the mat
I can't understand it
We had it down pat
It's very upsetting
Could we leave it at that
We all had positions
We each had a role
We'd over rehearsed it
We had full control
They can't teach you acting
It's there in your soul
It's the same with a bank job
And each thing we stole

So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone

I was the driver
You ran the show
You had the last word
The go or no go
I knew every laneway
In Ontario
But it's not what you're sure of
It's what you don't know
It should have been filled with
The usual ones
Throwing their cash in
To mutual funds
We all had our ski masks
And sawed off shotguns
But how do you plan for
A bank full of nuns
But I guess we panicked
We all have taboos
And they were like zebras
They had us confused
We should be in condos
With oceanfront views
Instead we're most wanted
On the 6 o'clock news

So, I don't need attitude
'Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
we all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone

Inside the police car
You tried to explain
Your crisis of conscience
The voice in your brain
And now that the whole thing
Has gone down the drain
I think we all know who
Should shoulder the blame
'Cause you made a choice there
Almost sublime
I'm all for compassion
Just not on my dime
You look like an amateur
And that's the real crime
So I'll take a walk now
And you do the time

And I don't need attitude
'Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
There's no need to phone

We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone

How to Wash the Cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

This article pretty much sums up this season of Lost.

"Stop giving excuses and start giving answers. I'm not talking about wrapping up all the big mysteries, but for crying out loud, give us something. With so many completely unanswered questions about the island, there's no reason every episode shouldn't contain half a dozen new, tantalizing tidbits of information. Go back to Black Rock, show Jack's dad again, give us anything. You can berate people for lack of patience, but the bottom line is that a compelling plot needs to have constant motion. And instead you gave us Sawyer and Kate fucking in a bear cage for three episodes."

LOL.

Anna Nicole Smith Was A Great Mother



Here she is, 8 months pregnant and obviously high on something. Even Howard K. Stern hints at drug-use. I'm tired of people glorifying her death. Watch and learn.

This made me laugh pretty hard today:

Homeland Security Terrorism Parody

Wheel Of Fortune on air for over 30 years...

"Even if you don't watch the show every day, it's comforting to know that it's there," Sajak said. "It's like the sunset. You might not go out and see it everyday, but it's nice to know it's happening."

That's right Pat. It is nice.

This is just one of the many reasons Crackdown will be awesome.

NJ Woman Scares The Crap Out Of Bear

That's how we do in NJ.

Also the Grey Poupon guy died :( And I just bought some last week ::sniffle::

Here's one for me ::takes a swig::
::Pours Grey Poupon out on the ground::
And one for my homey.