Hilarious "How-To" turn your XBox into a Linux machine

There was recently this hilarious thread online I was a part of. It was like a virtual online dating-game, where questions were asked and you had to come up with the best answers. Here's some snippets:

Q: I decide not to go out with you. Give me two reasons to change my mind.
C1: A .45 and a shovel
C2: I concur
C3: A .9 and a wood chip

Q: How do you kiss?
C1: All over
C2: I eat your face and then I lay eggs in your esophagus.
C3: I don't know I haven't had much practice just on my grandma.

Q: Tell me something about yourself that might prevent me from picking you.
C1: My personality is too infectious!
C2: I like to hit women during sex and not during sex.
C3: I'm a lumberjack.

Q: You come over to clean my pool. Then I invite you in for a glass of water. Then what?
C1: You bend over and tease me. Then we clear off the table and make luv.
C2: I knock you out and take your stereo.
C3: An 8 ball and some milk.

Q: Forty-four percent of women would rather _______ than have sex.
C1: Go to www.goatsex.com
C2: Suck cock
C3: Try to escape from my basement

Q: What's the first thing that comes into your mind when I say PMS?
C1: Make you dinner.
C2: Not good.
C3: RIVER OF BLOOD GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

hehehe

Soldier of Misfortune - Go into battle equipped with defective grenades, jammed guns, and a compass which always points east.