Ok this is a sample from a random story I just started blurting out in an IM convo:

Petie says: I've had friends in your situation before
Petie says: And they're all successful and happy now
Petie says: No one is beyond repair
Petie says: And you're not broken to begin with
Petie says: Maybe just a little scuffed
Petie says: Like when you buy brand new Skechers and some asshole at the movie theater steps on em and smudges it
Petie says: And you're like "YO what the fuck!"
Petie says: And they're like "Sorry dude. That' show I roll"
Petie says: And you deal with it
Petie says: And then eventually you buy even cooler Skechers
Petie says: And beat that loser upside the head with the old ones
Petie says: And that's my little motivational story for the week.
Petie says: Brought to you by the letter "C" for "CrAcK" and the Helena Rubenstein Foundation
Petie says: Oh yeah and by Viewers Like You
Jess says: do you see why I love you?

I apologize that I'm on crack everyone. I'm seeking help.