The Sopranos Ending

****Spoilers abound below so don't read if you don't want to know****

So it's over. I didn't get to watch the finale until 5 hours after it aired, since I was at a concert in the city. I loved the majority of the episode until the ending. Phil Leotardo got whacked as everyone expected but it wasn't as gratuitous as anyone would have hoped or come to expect from the series. In fact all I thought when I saw the car roll over his head post-cap-busting was that it was a scene ripped off from Six Feet Under. The famous "beginning death" of all those episodes had one where a guy has a heart attack getting out of his car in his driveway, and his melon explodes open. Didn't come across original for me at all, and ended up being more comical with the 2 grandkids in the backseat than anything.

Going in there were SO many possibilities.

-Would Tony die? (No.)
-Would Tony's kids die? (No.)
-Would he be betrayed by someone from his crew? (No.)
-Would AJ do something ridiculous? (No.)
-Would the missing Russian from the Pine Barrens return?! (No.)
-Would Meadow not be able to park for 20 minutes? (Yes.)
-Would be see onion rings and a Jersey diner? (Yes.)

Hell I live in NJ, I know what the diners are like. I love the onion rings, but come on what a cheap cheap cut to black ending. I don't buy the critics and existentialist s blathering on that Chase was "staying true" to the show or himself. If you look at every season finale from him there was at least a feeling of resolution, even if nothing was actually resolved. Season 2 or 3 really sticks out in my mind where they play the Rolling Stones' "Waiting On A Call From You" while they pan around everyone going about their daily business like normal. The shot cuts to the Jersey coast, the ocean water where Big Pussy is now "swimming with the fishes." THAT was a powerful ending, even though we got nothing neatly tied up.

Did THAT ending answer any future questions? No, tons of things were left in the air but it was a brilliant ending. Using a very popular Journey song just felt like a cop-out (even though they've sampled much Journey in the shows soundtrack before a music-director's favorite to be sure as was Annie Lennox or The Eurythmics) and an insult.

Chase has stated that they weren't trying to mess with anyone but how could you NOT know that an ending like that would split fans? Rumors were flying wild that 2 other endings were shot and would only be included on the DVD which, if it were actually true, would be the most ridiculous thing yet.

"The line to cancel HBO starts here," wrote Hollywood analyst Nikke Finke on her Deadline Hollywood Web site. "What a ridiculously disappointing end. ... Even if David Chase ... was demonstrating the existential and endless loop of Tony's life or the moments before the hit that causes his death, it still robbed the audience of visual closure. And if it were done to segue into a motion picture sequel, then that kind of crass commercialism shouldn't be tolerated. There's even buzz that the real ending will only be available on the series' final DVD. Either way, it was terrible."

I couldn't agree more. I've come to expect more and instead I got:

-AJ's catalytic converter ignites his car
-Carmela builds houses
-Meadow parking for 20 minutes
-Tony back where he started, not in therapy and none-improved
-Paulie as superstitious as ever
-Silvio in a (un-Tony-like) dreamless coma
-"Don't Stop Believing" cut off while we're teased at Tony dying.

At least I can't say in the final episode there wasn't @(#$%!'in ziti.

My brother's commercial for Dawn dish detergent won out as the opening ad for the advertisement bid. It's rating was "off the charts" with a CEI of 224.



Way to go bro. He wrote and directed the entire thing.

I'm a big fan of the woot website. They offer decent tech at ridiculously low prices. They're pretty hilarious too, as judged by this excerpt from today's woot deal:

"She left today. I think it’s for good this time. See, while she was at work, I was supposed to call Chez Casa and make a reservation for our anniversary dinner. I meant to, I really did. But when I woke up, around eleven, Chez Casa wasn’t open yet. So I started playing around with my Toshiba DVD Recorder/VCR D-VR4, and, well, the next thing I knew, she was getting home from work and asking what time our reservation was for. From there, it was all “you love that full-featured, progressive-scan DVD player and recorder more than you love me” and “you’d rather record your VHS tapes to DVD-R than make love to me.” Pretty typical stuff.

I could barely be bothered to argue. Truth is, I was just waiting for her to leave me alone like everyone else does, so I could get back to my Toshiba D-VR4. Maybe that makes me a bad person. I don’t care. What can she, or anyone else, give me that I can’t get from my Toshiba? Can she store up to 12 hours of audio and video on a 4.7GB double-sided DVD-RAM (not included)? Do any of my former friends offer time-shifting functionality, so I don’t miss my favorite TV shows while I’m doing other things? (Not that I ever do other things, but still, it’s a matter of principle.) I admit, much of a woman’s body is a mystery to me. But if she can play DVDs, CDs, VHS tapes, MP3 discs, and JPEG photo discs, I never found the slot to put them in. And now I never will.

I guess I should be upset about that. I suppose I should’ve begged, pleaded, sworn that I’d change. But I’ve done that before, and let’s face it, it didn’t mean a thing. As the words were coming out of my mouth, I was caressing my Toshiba DVD Recorder/VCR D-VR4 in my mind. Just like I am right now. She left today. And I can’t feel a thing."

Guitar Hero 3: Rock The 80s has released a partial tracklist:

* I Wanna Rock (by Twisted Sister)
* I Ran (by Flock of Seagulls)
* Round and Round (as made famous by Ratt)
* I Want Candy (as made famous by Bow Wow Wow)
* Metal Health (as made famous by Quiet Riot)
* Holy Diver (as made famous by Dio)
* Heat Of The Moment (as made famous by Asia)

Excited isn't even the word. I mean ASIA...and Quiet Riot? AHHHHHHH!

This is why the 80s were awesome.


Seriously you could just call this video a Grand Theft Auto Vice City trailer and it would have been gold.

Funniest episode of 21 Jump Street Ever.


Fast forward to about 5minutes or 9, I think to see Johnny Depp slap a kid. It's been parodied all over the net, and I finally know how much of an idiot the kid was being to deserve it.

Oh dear God. Please think of the children.

Paula Abdul reportedly went diva on a recent flight and demanded special treatment. A source tells Star:

"She pulled a major diva trip. The other passengers were not amused. She asked to be let on the plane and seated first." When Abdul was told that only young children, people with disabilities and the elderly were allowed to board early, she reportedly declared, "But I'm famous! I need to go on first!" A number of fellow passengers heard the exchange, and one shouted at her: "You're no Sanjaya! You have to board like everyone else." That, according to the source, prompted a round of laughter from the others - except Abdul"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA.

:P

I've been waiting for the Grand Theft Auto IV fallout to begin. And so it has!

Kotaku has an article up about the recent "politicos" in NYC ranting and raving about how this violent video game is set to take place in New York City.

"Take-Two just can't catch a break. After the ousting of it's CEO earlier this week, their impressive new trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV hit the internets to many a gamer's delight. But apparently not everyone was excited to see it. I don't think there's any confusion over the fact that the setting for the new title is based completely on New York City, a fact that did not escape the notice and ire of NYC's political leaders. A New York Daily News article has a plethora of uninformed quotes by politicos that are all worthy of reading, but I will list the best ones right here:

Setting Grand Theft Auto in the safest big city in America would be like setting Halo in Disneyland - City Councilman Peter Vallone

The mayor does not support any video game where you earn points for injuring or killing police officers, - Jason Post, spokesman for Mayor Bloomberg.

and even this quote taken directly from the writers of the article...

In previous incarnations, players advanced through the game by killing cops, selling pornography to children and killing prostitutes."

Flynn De Marco goes onto state:

"I'm not even going to begin to delve into the myriad inaccuracies in these quotes, I'll leave that for you to do in the comments. But what I will say is that the hypocrisy happening here is overwhelming. What makes this any worse than the countless films in which NYC is depicted as the home to murderers, rapists and con-men? And what about the ones where the city is completely destroyed outright by outside forces? I have the feeling that if GTA IV had been a movie and Take Two was paying the city for its use, the reactions from these sanctimonious blow hards would be quite different."

Hell Heroes takes place mostly in NYC and involves the apocalypse but you don't see anyone complaining about that. All the lawyers are rushing home to watch on Monday nights.

Ahh New Jersey. Your wretched hive of scum and villainy never cease to amaze me.

Can't express how glad I am to never have to be in that area of the state again.

Ahh the Fake Real Interview With Steve Jobs

A little late April foolness for you :)

Laughing...too....hard

http://pokeafrica.ytmnd.com/

Halle Berry recently told Parade magazine that she tried to commit suicide in the past. Apparently the incident was over her failed first marriage and she was to do the deed by asphyxiation by car exhaust.

"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again."

It's always sad when beautiful people try to take their own lives. I got pretty depressed once because I finished a delicious sandwich and wanted more, so I tried to kill myself by picking a fight with a gang of hoodlums. Unfortunately my instincts kicked in and I beat them all up, but the moral of the story is: beating up hoodlums and taking their money is a great way to get sandwich money.

Wait, what happened? I just blacked out and all I remember was Halle not being a coward...

I'm a big fan of game mods. Sometimes the release version of a game isn't quite up to par with what it could have been. (Heroes of Might and Magic V I'm looking at you ::sigh::)

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was an awesome game, and one that I seem to keep "coming back to" between other games. It was really the first RPG out for the 360 and the size of the world is pretty amazing. One of the major annoyances was that the developers instituted a "level scaling" monsters/enemies. This means that as your character leveled up and became stronger, the enemies leveled up with him. While this might sound good in theory it got kind of ridiculous fighting a "Super Rat" or Skeletor when you were a high level. The point of leveling up is to strengthen your character to some serious kick-assery later in the game. Level scaling basically made that obsolete.

This is one way that Oblivion won out as a PC game over the XBox 360 version. The PC version was moddable by fans who have made a slew of good additions. Eliminating level scaling, or limiting enemies to scale only to a maximum level improved the game greatly.

However not all mods are as practical. Take for instance this "Disco Spell." Certainly good for a laugh :)

"Simon Cowell went so far as to say if Malakar wins, he'll quit."

At least Simon's speaking some sense.

Brian Ashcraft, one of my favorite game journalists, has a new editorial piece up on Kotaku called "The Colossus and the Comedian." It discusses how the game Shadow of the Colossus was worked into the (released today} movie Reign Over Me.

I've been looking forward to this movie for some time now. I saw a preview a long time ago, maybe last July, and remember telling all my friends about it. No one else had seen the trailer and I couldn't find one online anywhere. I couldn't even remember WHICH movie I'd seen it was in the previews for. I saw another trailer for it in November which was a bit more extended, and the same result ensued. Let me pause for a minute and say I've got a great appreciation for Adam Sandler's acting ability. Most people know him as a lovable buffoon from SNL, his comedy CDs or his comedy movies. If you've never seen Punch Drunk Love you owe it to yourself to go and rent that film immediately. It's an owner if you're a dvd-buyer. It was the first really serious role I'd ever seen him in, and he followed it up two years later with Spanglish.

Adam Sandler could act. Really act.

Close friends know how much of a film aficionado I consider myself and I usually take more out of movies than most. Perhaps I loved both films because of their sense of realism. They were firmly rooted in reality and while both had sort-of happy endings the turmoil and strife needed to get there in both were something you don't see much nowadays. Punch Drunk Love especially was a beautifully shot film. The art style was something else. Sandler's character, Barry, could have come off as a moron, but his portrayal left him oozing oddities. He felt like the everyman but unique. He was clumsy, awkward and ended up being a hero to the only person it really mattered...himself.

But back to Shadow of the Colossus...that article from Ashcraft is a really awesome look into how the game made it into the movie. It's cool Sandler was on board with the idea and pushed for it. Ironically I'm actually playing through it currently. It's one of the most artistic games I've played in a long, long time.


It feels like a barren and lonely world, and it's basically a story about a man trying to do the bidding of his god to bring back his dead wife. I couldn't think of a better game they'd have used. Much better than some stock bs shoot 'em up.

Here's a 22 month-old playing Wii Tennis.

http://gamedrift.com/articles.php?a=333

Extra hilarity when he gets so excited he knocks himself over and cracks up.

"Every so often we witness one of those television moments that make us stand-up from our assumed couch potato positions and say "WOW, thank you for TV." "The Man from Tallahassee" had two of those moments including one that answered a long asked Lost question. Add to that the fantastic dialogue between John Locke and Benjamin Linus, plus the emotionally charged scene involving Jack and Kate, and you're left with a solid hour of television." -IGN review of "The Man from Tallahassee"

My thoughts exactly.

Thank god the last few episodes have been getting better. I was worried the show was headed down to suckerville.

Like Kryptonite. Can't...move...Child....too....cute.

So glad they found the lost boyscout.

When I think of "defining" bands of my generation a few always come to mind. Green Day, Blink 182, No Doubt and Third Eye Blind. Man did I love when Semi-Charmed Life came out. And for the longest time I couldn't get into Wounded from the Blue album. I saw them live at PNC along with Splender who I also loved. That concert was amazing and now this is one of my favorite TEB songs.

Wounded

The guy who put his hands on you
Has got nothing to do with me
And the bruises that you feel will heal
And I hope you'll come around
'Cause we're missing you
And you used to speak so easy
Now you're afraid to talk to me
It's like walking with the wounded
Carrying that weight way too far
The concrete pulled you down so hard
Out there with the wounded
Missing you
Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
But my fingers catch sparks at the thought of touching you
When you're wounded
Let me break it down 'till I force the issue
We miss your face and you know I wish you
Would come back down the the Dalva Bar
You tell 'em, that's just my battle scar
I want to kiss you
And knock 'em down like we used to
You're the marigold
Till you're walking down shaking that ass again
And then you walk on, baby walk on, you walk on, on and on
You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air
And we're missing you
Now it's fall, and your shoulders get tighter
Nervous flicks on the lighter, boots
Your pissed off poets, your women's groups
And the friends with you, we should have known this fool
Well I guess we missed the mark
Still my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of them touching you
Now you're wounded
Let me break it down 'till I force the issue
You never come around, and you know we miss you
Well nobody took your pride away
I said, that's something people say
Back down the bully to the back of the bus
'Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
'Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball
Then you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on, on and on
You're a summer time hottie with her socks in the air
You're screaming I don't care baby I don't care
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow
All I know is we're missing you
You say you don't know
You say you can't grow
All I know is we're missing you
Show up, show up wounded
Show up, show up wounded

I lol'd hard.



For the uninformed, that's Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario and many other lovable Nintendo characters. The simple fact that he agreed to do this little spot shows how much character he has and that he hasn't been jaded by fame even after 20+ years.

Woman arrested on DUI charge after driving on A.C. Boardwalk

Only in New Jersey ahhhh.

Worried about satellites spying on you?

You should be.

Google Maps can be hacked to zoom into even greater resolutions. Camels, water ping pong, sun-tanning on the beach. Seems like no one's safe!

Alright this has to stop.

It was odd and amusing the first time it happened but more and more teachers are sleeping with their students. We expect more from you. Hell when I was 14 the teacher wouldn't even let me bang the erasers. What the hell is happening?

The stepmother of the kid wrote into Penny Arcade:

Gabe,

Your news post about the kids and the homeless man yesterday made me sick to my stomach, before I even read the CNN article. I knew what it was going to be about before even reading the article. It was not the article itself, or even your post that made me sick, it was the fact that I know this boy. Or, rather that I could be considered one of the “parents” of this boy.

The boy’s father and I have been together for almost seven years, and I had what I guess could be called a “stepmother” relationship with the kid. To say that living with this kid was hell would be a complete understatement.

I don’t think I have ever actively hated anyone in my entire life, but this kid just makes my blood boil.

As I write this, my teeth are clenched, my hands are shaking, and my whole body is seething with the hatred I feel for this kid and what he has done. Seeing the article brings back all the horrible memories from when he lived with us.

He was constantly in trouble in school, with the cops, with us, with his mother, and with anyone else who was an authority figure. Not a week went by that the school or the cops wouldn’t call us for something. His attitude was basically “fuck you, I don’t have to listen to you” said with a shrug.

We tried absolutely everything we could think of to get him to behave like a normal human being… we tried groundings, negative reinforcement / punishment, positive reinforcement, counseling, and anything and everything the counselors suggested. We tried to get him interested and involved in extracurricular activities, like hockey, drama, music, art, anything, but he got himself kicked out of every group he was in with his “make me” attitude. When we would ground him, we took away everything. No TV, no computer, no phone, no leaving the house, no snacks or junk food…. Everything. When he was grounded, he was only allowed to sit in his room and read or draw. He was actually a pretty good artist, and we tried to encourage him to spend his time working with his talent. He would just sit there and take it… the groundings had absolutely no affect on him at all. Most of the time, he didn’t even remember why he was being grounded. At the end of it, we would ask him if it was worth it to have everything taken away in exchange for what he did… he usually just shrugged. He could be grounded for weeks, or a month at a time, and then the very next day would do something to get back in trouble again. Most kids get grounded or punished a couple of times, and then they want to avoid having to go through it again… not this kid, nothing seemed to phase him.

And we’re not talking the usual teenager stuff, like coming home late, or refusing to do the dishes. We’re talking stealing cars, setting fires, drinking, getting picked up for drugs, beating up handicapped kids at school (yes, really) stealing things out of our house… all with this “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want” attitude.

We had absolutely no idea what else we could do. We already had him in counseling, and we did everything the counselors suggested. We tried rewarding his good behavior (what little there was) to try to get him to see that when he behaves like a normal human being, things are good and people enjoy being around him. Nothing phased him at all.

Then, things took an even worse turn when he decided that whenever he didn’t get his way, or we did something he didn’t like, he told his counselors and teachers that we were abusing him. (Never happened.) And for some inexplicable reason, everybody believed him. I understand that child abuse is a very serious situation, and that they have to take every possible case seriously, but this was clearly a case of him manipulating people to get what he wanted. We had people from the school, cops, and social services over at our house or calling us on a weekly basis stating some new abuse that he had made up. At 14, the boy was already 6’3” and over 200 pounds. Of course, there was never a mark on him, because no such abuse ever took place.

One particular night (cops involved, as always) he decided that he didn’t have to listen to anything we said, and that he wasn’t coming home. He went to live with his mother, where things got worse by the day. He stole everything out of her home and sold it. He invited gang-bangers and drug dealers to her home, and she feared for her safety constantly. She called the cops numerous times because she feared for her safety, but again, the boy said that she abused him, and the cops always took his side. (For reference, the mother is about 5’3” and barely clocks in at 115.) He planted a loaded gun in her room, called the cops and told them that it belonged to the mother’s boyfriend. The boyfriend actually ended up serving time because of this fucking bastard kid. She had two other young children in the house, and the gun and the abuse charges were an intentional plot to get the other two kids taken away from her. She tried restraining orders against the kid, but since he was a minor, they wouldn’t allow it. Every time he got picked up, she pleaded with the cops to take him to jail, maybe that would finally get though to him, but they just kept bringing him home to her. I don’t understand why everyone who was involved with this kid just blindly took this juvenile delinquent’s word over all else!

The night that he and his friends murdered that poor homeless man, the mother said that he was acting particularly cocky. Then he threatened to kill her. We had absolutely no idea of what he had done until they found the man’s body. He was immediately waived into adult court (at 15) and sentenced to 15 years. We were all absolutely sick with grief for this man.

We were also sick with guilt… “What could we have done differently?” was a constant question in all of our heads. After the kid was sentenced, all the cops, counselors, social workers, and people at the school that had been dealing with him contacted us and his mother and apologized for not taking us seriously. They are all trained to take all accusations of child abuse seriously, and as a part of that they blindly took the kid’s side for everything, and dismissed us as “the lying abusers”. Many of them told us that they wished they would have taken our pleas for help seriously. Everyone thought we were exaggerating about how fucked up this kid was.

I completely agree with your statement of “These kids were twelve kinds of nuts and that’s a fact.” But the reason I am writing this to you is that, after reading your news post yesterday, I felt that I needed to defend the boy’s parents. His mother and father and I did absolutely everything we could think of to try to keep this kid in line. Even the kinds of things that normal teenagers get in trouble for would have been a blessing compared to what we’ve been through with him.

What I gave you today is a very small sampling of the kinds of things we were dealing with every single fucking day with this kid. When people hear about what he’s done, I can always sense the “I’m sure there was something you could have done” comment coming up. What would you have done? How do you deal with a kid like this? Like I said, we did everything the counselors suggested, and nothing seemed to matter.

If you want to add another element to the “nature vs. nurture” idea, this boy has a brother. Both boys were raised in the same house, with the same values. The brother has developed into a kind, considerate, responsible, and independent young man. He is currently working his butt off right now to save up money to go to school for architecture. The only thing I regret is that we spent so much time and energy dealing with the bad kid that this boy missed out on having a normal family life with a normal sibling relationship.

I am sorry this got so long. I have been reading PA since the very beginning, and I feel that both of you are very much like me. I think we are the same age (29) and I have been a lifelong gamer like the two of you. I can’t stand hearing about the so-called correlation between games and real-life violence. Video games DID NOT make this kid who he was, and it’s unfortunate that the correlation is there.

The thing that really gets me with this whole thing is that the kid knows full well that by equating what he’s done to a video game, that he will generate controversy and media coverage. It makes me sick that the media is jumping all over this, because that is exactly the result that he wants.

The only good thing (if there is such a thing) that has come out of this whole ordeal is that the kid is behind bars. That is exactly where he needs to be.

Again, I’m sorry about the length of this. Thanks for allowing me to “tell my side” of the story.

Some children just can't be helped no matter what you do for them. It's a sad fact.

Hear about the kids who beat the homeless guy to death? One of them then likened it to playing a "violent video game." That pissed me off because the last thing the industry needs is more false press. I think Penny-Arcade's Gabe hit it right on the head with this quote:

"What kind of crazy fuck takes poop from his butt and rubs it on someone? I’ll tell you right now I’ve never seen that in Grand Theft Auto."

It was an upset
In two minutes flat
We're back on the freeway
Foot to the mat
I can't understand it
We had it down pat
It's very upsetting
Could we leave it at that
We all had positions
We each had a role
We'd over rehearsed it
We had full control
They can't teach you acting
It's there in your soul
It's the same with a bank job
And each thing we stole

So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone

I was the driver
You ran the show
You had the last word
The go or no go
I knew every laneway
In Ontario
But it's not what you're sure of
It's what you don't know
It should have been filled with
The usual ones
Throwing their cash in
To mutual funds
We all had our ski masks
And sawed off shotguns
But how do you plan for
A bank full of nuns
But I guess we panicked
We all have taboos
And they were like zebras
They had us confused
We should be in condos
With oceanfront views
Instead we're most wanted
On the 6 o'clock news

So, I don't need attitude
'Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
we all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone

Inside the police car
You tried to explain
Your crisis of conscience
The voice in your brain
And now that the whole thing
Has gone down the drain
I think we all know who
Should shoulder the blame
'Cause you made a choice there
Almost sublime
I'm all for compassion
Just not on my dime
You look like an amateur
And that's the real crime
So I'll take a walk now
And you do the time

And I don't need attitude
'Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
There's no need to phone

We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone

How to Wash the Cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

This article pretty much sums up this season of Lost.

"Stop giving excuses and start giving answers. I'm not talking about wrapping up all the big mysteries, but for crying out loud, give us something. With so many completely unanswered questions about the island, there's no reason every episode shouldn't contain half a dozen new, tantalizing tidbits of information. Go back to Black Rock, show Jack's dad again, give us anything. You can berate people for lack of patience, but the bottom line is that a compelling plot needs to have constant motion. And instead you gave us Sawyer and Kate fucking in a bear cage for three episodes."

LOL.

Anna Nicole Smith Was A Great Mother



Here she is, 8 months pregnant and obviously high on something. Even Howard K. Stern hints at drug-use. I'm tired of people glorifying her death. Watch and learn.

This made me laugh pretty hard today:

Homeland Security Terrorism Parody

Wheel Of Fortune on air for over 30 years...

"Even if you don't watch the show every day, it's comforting to know that it's there," Sajak said. "It's like the sunset. You might not go out and see it everyday, but it's nice to know it's happening."

That's right Pat. It is nice.

This is just one of the many reasons Crackdown will be awesome.

NJ Woman Scares The Crap Out Of Bear

That's how we do in NJ.

Also the Grey Poupon guy died :( And I just bought some last week ::sniffle::

Here's one for me ::takes a swig::
::Pours Grey Poupon out on the ground::
And one for my homey.

World Of Whorecraft.



L O L

Video Games Improve Your Sight!

This article was hilarious.

Favorite bit:

"Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because "they are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine. And the more deftly constructed and wittily argued their defence, the more terrified and wounded they secretly are."

"I don't think the over 90 percent of the [population] who use Windows PCs think of themselves as dullards, or the kind of klutzes that somebody is trying to say they are," said Gates. "And I don't know why [Apple is] acting like it's superior. I don't even get it. What are they trying to say?" He continued, "Does honesty matter in these things, or if you're really cool, that means you get to be a lying person whenever you feel like it? There's not even the slightest shred of truth to it." -Bill Gates

OH SNAP APPLE!

He speaks the truth though. I don't understand how calling PC users idiots and comparing them to midlife crisising "dullars" would make people want to switch. Time for a new marketing tactic. Yes OS X is pretty good, but it's not half the things they claim. It's all about what you use your system for.

My favorite superbowl commercial this year:


All my friends hated it, and there definitely was a sadistic feel to half the commercials that aired. Something was just really funny and this commercial stuck with me.

Props to the Coke Grand Theft Auto ripoff. I really liked that one too.


Props to these as well:

Today is supposed to officially be the most depressing day of the year.

I find that pretty funny considering this is the mildest winter yet.

We're THIS CLOSE to the awesome Minority Report computer displays.

Awesome.

Ever wonder why your NES or SNES look like crap so many years later? Maybe you kept it in an entertainment center, or it's been in a box for years. Still it has that nasty moldy yellow-brown look.

Someone on the 'net was puzzled enough to check it out.

Another Unsolved Mystery put to rest!

Miss the 4-hour 24 Premiere Sunday/Monday?

Jack went straight from the Chinese Torture Jet to certain death through torture by mad terrorists, to being forced to kill a friend, to witnessing a nuclear bomb blowing up in LA.

This season is going to rock our worlds.

This is part of the reason I really dislike the Democratic party.

Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer...

" Rice appeared before the Senate in defense of President Bush's tactical change in Iraq, and quickly encountered Boxer.

"Who pays the price? I'm not going to pay a personal price," Boxer said. "My kids are too old, and my grandchild is too young."

Then, to Rice: "You're not going to pay a particular price, as I understand it, with an immediate family."

The junior senator from California ap parently believes that an accom plished, seasoned diplomat, a renowned scholar and an adviser to two presidents like Condoleezza Rice is not fully qualified to make policy at the highest levels of the American government because she is a single, childless woman."

Geesh. I guess Boxer believe women belong in the kitchen and at home tending to children. How ridiculous can this get.

"Indeed, the least these critics can do is suggest an alternative that leads to success in Iraq rather than simply criticize."

Exactly. Because all the Democratic party ever does is complain and criticize and never offer any alternatives. Surrender is not an option when you're dealing with terrorism. It's an invitation for continued and more frequent attacks.

However Boxer is out of her mind. Don't make your party look bad because you're a bigoted idiot. Think about the big picture and stop being selfish assholes.

This time the bastard didn't fall.

Although he does look like a kid who has to pee really bad :P

Cool Target info from Lifehacker.

Target's full prices end in 9. So the first price tag will be $14.99 or $27.99, something like that. Then, every time Target discounts the product, the final digit of the price drops. The lowest the last digit will drop is 4.

If you see something you want at Target and the price ends in 4, buy it. The price won't go any lower.

Want to try something trippy?

Go to any web page. (Preferably with a lot of pictures etc)

Copy and paste the following into the address bar and hit enter.

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

TRIPPY.

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that."

Generally I like American Idol. It's amusing and one of the few talent-based competitions on tv today. (So help me God if you say Deal Or No Deal I will take you out, there is NO strategy in that game)

Survivor was amusing but at this point it's more scripted than anything. Dancing With The Stars, ok I do like that show, and The Biggest Loser has a good premise like Celebrity Fit Club.

There's some genuinely talented people on Idol; Even though Clay Aiken didn't win, I liked his really gay song anyways. When Clay Aiken shut up Kelly Ripa by putting his hand over her mouth I think he deserved a Medal of Honor. It seems like the 2cd place contestant ends up getting a record deal no matter what. Ruben Studdard, Kelly Clarkson, all good singers and have put out good albums.

Now we come to Taylor Hicks....

If this is the best singer America can come up with in a nationwide talent search, it's time to just give up on new music forever. It's like someone threw Kenny Rogers and Air Supply into a blender, blended until what little talent there was went away and kept the hair and awkward dancing.

What I REALLY can't believe is that he had 2 albums before his Idol "debut." I have nothing against singers of any age or background, but this guy just doesn't work. Pearl Jam may have given me hope for great bands of the past to keep it up, but new music feels so screwed.

It's going to be an amazing week when you wake up remembering this little ditty:

Down, down baby, down by the rollercoaster,
Sweet, sweet baby, I'll never let you go,
Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy rock,
I met a girlfriend, a triscuit, she said a triscuit, a biscuit,
Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top,
Ooh Chelley, walking down the street, ten times a week,
I said it, I meant it, I stole my mamma's credit,
I'm cool, I'm hot, sock me in the stomach until I forget it!

Oh gradeschool!

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry...HENRY!
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam NO SAM!
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Second verse same as the first

I'm usually against going to get my flu shot every year. My mother will beg and plead for me to just go in, especially when our particular health care providers are loaded to the gills with it, in spite of the shortages country-wide.

But THIS I would go get.

"British scientists are on the verge of producing a revolutionary flu vaccine that works against all major types of the disease.

Described as the 'holy grail' of flu vaccines, it would protect against all strains of influenza A - the virus behind both bird flu and the nastiest outbreaks of winter flu.

Just a couple of injections could give long-lasting immunity - unlike the current vaccine which has to be given every year"

Story here.

I hope they do it.

For one minute and fifty-four seconds Donald Trump became my personal hero. And then after that he was just another guy with awesome hair.

This is too funny. This dog has a howl-off with Wolf-Link from The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

Girls. Got. Skillz.

So the holiday is in full swing. Got most of my shopping done thank goodness. The mall, starting last weekend, has been getting progressively worse. I think I might have to brave it once more tomorrow. It's like entering the Congo or Jurassic Park. Except the gorillas and velociraptors are housewives and desperate fathers.

Big interview tomorrow. Very big. Keep your fingers crossed. I've done my research.

I'm ashamed of you Fred and Barney. Ashamed.

I don't have DirectTV anymore but this commercial was classic:

I've got to say, in Hollywood those two impress me the most.

Translation:

Today I bought a Nintendo Wii, so I thought I'd brag about it a little!

First of all, this is the console. I'll open it up. You can use it like this, standing vertically!

Let me show you the controllers are well. For the controller, you hold this wiggly one in your right hand (Pal: fish sausage, delicious). The other one, the one for the left hand, is this one, which is a little dry and coarse (Pal: Umai Bou...comes in countless flavors, ranges from delicious to disgusting).

*Outside*

Now, let's actually play!

*Sign shows the Kameda brothers, pro boxers*

This is the boxing game.

*Ding!*

Hooray! Hooray! (Yatta...many will recognize this word)

...I want ooooone!

*Sign: I want a real Wii!!*

Live Free Or Die Hard Trailer.

All I Know Is That Shit Blows Up, And That May Be Enough!

Apparently Paris Hilton's waxer is a smart cookie.

"“A great promise was contained in the moment when Madonna kissed Britney at the MTV Awards. She in a sense was saying,”I’m passing the torch to you.” It was a fabulous moment. Britney looked toned, in control of her career and it was up to her to take the next step. Literally from that kiss, from that moment onward, Britney has spiraled out of control. It’s like Madonna gave her the kiss of death! Britney is throwing it away!"

One of the reasons I love Kotaku editors:

Check out this sassy editor. pwned!

Someone made a Wilhelm Scream Compilation on YouTube. Hilarious especially hearing that epic scream once after the other. I always pick them out in recent movies because it's so distinctive.

If I were to build my own entertainment cabinet, this would be it.

A sad day indeed. James Kim was found deceased in the Oregon wild yesterday. (story)



He was one of the technology editors at CNet.com. James, his wife Kati and two children were traveling home from Portland, Oregon to San Francisco from Thanksgiving with family. They took a more-remote road and became trapped on the snowy road in a Subaru. They spent 8 days in the wilderness, surviving on running the cars heater, and later on siphoning gas and burning the tires for heat. His wife breastfed the two children (4 and 7 months old). They were found on Monday as a result of a text message their phone received. Edge Wireless in Oregon was able to triangulate their position.



James had set out three days prior, telling his wife he was going to search for help and return by 1pm if he did not find any. The rescue teams had scoured the area and began dropping aid packages with warm clothing, food, and a message from Kim's father. A satellite, which had been rerouted for the sole purpose of the search, began to pick up "hotspots" a day ago. They found a long sleeved shirt, extra pants, and pieces of Oregon map. Presumably James had left these either as "breadcrumbs" for
himself or for rescue searchers. They found him almost a mile from where his family's station wagon was, seperated by a huge cliff ravine. He had traveled almost 8 miles in a circle, though whether this was intentional or because of disorientation is unknown.



It's a terribly sad story. I've watched and read many of James' reviews on CNet and he was quite a charismatic fellow. A news story I heard earlier put it best, "He made the hard, and at the same time easiest, decision to leave his family in search of help." I hope God gives James all the gadgets he can hope for until his family meets him one day.

Written by a woman, for women.

She never met the author of the 60 Things Men Shouldn't Do During Sex, but doesn't like him. "If he wants to speak for all women and assume we all want some nerdy little pussy whipped sissy, that's fine."

Here is her rebuttal. A-men to that.

The Politics of Fucking
aka
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

That is all.

Apparently people don't learn. That or they don't read things on the interwebs. Or get out of their house to chat at the water-cooler or the diner, or Wal-Mart. Wherever you kids hang out these days.

To avoid your Wiimote inflicting MASSIVE DAMAGE like this:


Some smart weaver/braider posted this Wiimote hack on Flickr to add braided fishing line as a backup. Looks like it'd work too. I wrote a lengthy comment on Kotaku 2 weeks ago regarding the bevy of broken straps on Wiimotes. (Check that here)

The sciencey part of what I had to say:

When used properly, the strap does it's job. If you fasten that little sliding bezel it gives the strap more "grounding," (been a long time since i thought physics-wise, so if someone can explain this better and understands what I'm getting at go for it) and a larger tension area to distribute energy when it changes from potential to kinetic. Simply put, most of the force is exerted throughout the ENTIRE strap not just the little connector When worn properly. When it's not fastened properly you're basically treating the Wiimote like a bullwhip, a sharp acceleration following by an abrupt stop. All that force is exerted onto the little strap!

This guys hack basically provides more tensile strength and a larger area for it to be distributed across as well as a fail-safe (that should not break unless you're a 500lb catfish) should you snap the connecting string on the wrist strap.

Seriously though at this point gamers have seen the consequences...you'd think they'd tone down their XTREME B0wLiNg!

Give Your Wiimote a Weave Sista-Girl!

So those crazy Japanese had some pretty funny Do Nots in their Nintendo Wii user manual.
For instance

and


This was pure Photoshop fodder. Here are my favorites I've seen so far:

I saw this 4x yesterday and once more this morning so I had to post.

Kid Gets Arrested For Opening Christmas Present Early

THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON. Or breed an early delinquent. From the sounds of it the kid is already unmanageable. Not sure if widening his cornhole at this age is the answer.

I remember finding my Christmas presents one year...I thought Santa would be pissed when he found out I'd happened upon his secret stash. He wasn't.

Woah

Amazing survival story:

"They ran the heater in their station wagon until the car was out of gas, then burned all the tires in a desperate attempt to keep warm. When the food ran out, Kati Kim breastfed her two young daughters to keep them alive.

Hope was running low for the Kim family nine days after they became stranded in the snowy mountains of southwestern Oregon while making their way toward home in San Francisco. Then, at 1:45 p.m. Monday, Kim spotted a helicopter her family had hired to help in the search. She waved an umbrella on which she had taped reflective striping, and soon she and the girls were saved."

It's CNet editor James Kim. He's not found yet as he left 2 days prior to get help. They have found tracks leading off into a ravine. Let's hope this story has more of a happy ending.

Can't move....child....tooo...cute..

On my favorite gaming blog, Kotaku, one of the senior editors is Brian Crecente. He also writes for the Rocky Mountain press in Colorado. He has a young son, Tristan, who he's used from time to time to try out the next-gen controllers on. The latest video of him with the wireless XBox 360 steering wheel was priceless though.

"Why do you have to say 'alright'? Why do you have to say it?"

"I think those pedals are giving you a hard time."

"Sucka!!!"

Kid cracks me up.

Wii-gasm: (noun) A state of excitement reached when playing the Nintendo Wii.

Here's my link to my del.icio.us public bookmarking site. So if you were ever interested what I bookmark, or find interesting in net pop-culture or on a daily basis...here it is!

December 1, high of 70 degrees. Thunderstorm warning.

Wow...hell isn't freezing over...it's just getting warmer.

So this was amusing...I was at the doctor's a few weeks back and the only magazine there interesting at all was Blender. Beyonce Knowles told them that she created an alter ego named Sasha who she turns into whenever she's feeling doubtful about herself. A little Googling later on and I found the quote.
She says:

"When I feel uncomfortable about something, I tell myself, 'I'm Sasha, I'm a diva, I'm fierce, I can do it.' And then I can. Sometimes when Beyonce slips through, I'm like 'Hold up, come back!' Sasha protects me. It's a good way to keep sane."

Yes, creating imaginary characters in your head is definitely the best way to keep sane. I've got this dude named Clifford in my head. He tells me to cut people. Without him I don't know what I'd do. Maybe lead a normal life of not cutting people? Funk that. Clifford knows what's up! He's got my back and that's why he's my bestest friend in all the world.

If I was Britney Spears' left boob I'd try to make a break for it too. You'd be better off hitching a ride on a crashing plane than this human train wreck.

And apparently she's been caught flashing her beaver twice in 2 days. Come on Britney....not the way for a MOM to be making a comeback.

Wii Safety Precautions

"Hold the Wii Remote firmly and do not let go. Even while wearing the wrist strap, make sure you don't let go of the Wii Remote during game play and do not use excessive motion. For example, in Wii Sports bowling, the proper way to let go of the ball while bowling is to release the "B" button on the Wii Remote--DO NOT LET GO OF THE Wii REMOTE ITSELF. If you are having so much fun that you start perspiring, take a moment to dry your hands. If you use excessive motion and let go of the Wii Remote, the wrist strap may break and you could lose control of the Wii Remote. This could injure people nearby or cause damage to other objects."

Lol.

"The church is the gym of the soul." -Sylvester Stallone

That was from a recent press junket Sly did. I'm actually kind of looking forward to that movie. I loved the originals because of their redemption-related stories. It's time for a good boxing film again anyways.

"Women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day.

Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat - and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a new book suggests.

"And, if that wasn't enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high."
Somehow this isn't really news :P

It was only a matter of time...

Wii Have A Problem Dot Com

So far, the Wiimote is responsible for 2 dead televisions, 1 ceiling fan, 2 walls, and 1 window.

Once in awhile Mad TV pulls out a gem.

I Want You To Watch Me Play Madden



The Ping bit put it over the top :P

Even little kids can play Wii Sports Golf [well]. She obviously must have been watching Daddy since I don't think I knew how to take the Lord's name in vain when I was 5.

Someone awesome released a bunch of free Bully OST songs.

Nab 'em here

There is no way that this can keep happening.
Seriously are these kids like eating all their vitamins and shooting up 'roids? I've never ONCE lost control of my Wii controller.

Some people just know how to hang onto their Wii with a firm grip, and others we're learning....don't.

This Kotaku headline makes quote of the year hands down.

It Hurts When I Wii

HAHAHAHAHaH!

A new statistic is out stating that roughly 10% of all PLAYSTATION 3's are on eBay. How's that for flooding an apathetic market? The buzz on the PS3 is not as justified as the Wii's.

I saw my cousin over the weekend and asked him what him and his friends are interested in. He said the PS3 sort of, but that it was way too expensive, no good games yet. He also mentioned that the Wii seemed like an upgraded Gamecube. Then again some other kids his age I've talked to state exactly the opposite. I'd be interested on a poll of peoples' real opinions.

Too bad no PS3's are actually being bought by gamers.

So people are bitching about how difficult it is to play the Wii sometimes.

One girl likened it to "being more difficult than playing basketball."

Nintendo responds...A Nintendo PR rep said, "If people are finding themselves sore, they may need to exercise more."

OH SNAP. Get off your couches fatties. That or, you know, stop swinging the Wiimote like a katana.

No word yet on why teenage boys wrists are so strong and adapted to the Wii. Perhaps they have been playing with their Wiis the most.

Added OHSNAP points since the rep also stated:

"The Wii is not Jenny Craig and should not be viewed as such."

You know you're out of shape when a Nintendo PR rep tells you to hit the gym.

LOL

Curious how much of a difference the component cables make for Nintendo Wii?

Take a look for yourself!

Gizmodo's got you covered. These cables are in short short supply right now. Honestly Twilight Princess looks gorgeous even in it's medieval 480pness. Kotaku had an article up last week on how to make your own. Don't ever let anyone tell you geeks aren't smart , dedicated and fast when it comes to something really important ;P

Soooo...all this gaming news and no story of my Wii Launch? Well it's time then.

Saturday I went out to watch the Rutgers game with friends. What a sore loss that was. The only plus side to it is that Syracuse University now stands a chance in hell! That's good...because we're literally last in the Big East. Oh what a difference our football and basketball teams have!

After the game ended, we headed to the Rutgers area to hang out at Kat and John's apartment. On the way around 10, Amar and I stopped by the local Target to gauge the line. (I had decided days before No Best Buy and No Target). I'd done my research the past week and decided we'd try the Wal-mart no one ever goes to in Whitehouse Station, blocks from where I work. There were about 30 people outside of Target, some campers and a big game of football going on in the parking lot.

We headed over to Katina and John's for some rousing Taboo, and later on stopped for some goodies. We got there around 2:30am, Amar had gotten spot 23 in line and I was 24. I had called this Wal-Mart that afternoon and found out they were getting 28-32 Wiis. They got exactly 28, which matched up to leaked launch numbers online as well.

We waited until 7am, when the store opened. They passed out paper tickets for systems. Bought my Wii, 2 extra Wiimotes and nun-chuks, Ray-Man, Trauma Center and Monkey Ball. Also picked up my preordered Zelda that evening at EB. Felt bad for the guys there, since it was one of my previous places of employment, and I've been through 2 console launches to know the nightmare they are.

Overall the launch was really enjoyable. It really was an experience. A kid or two brought a small tv, a PS2 and a Gamecube. Super Smash Brothers Melee was being played when we arrived. I played some Guitar Hero 2 while we waited. which surprisingly kept the fingers warm. It wasn't too cold until the actual store-opening time. Dawn was surprisingly much more chilly than the wee hours of the night

Most of the people were there to buy for their children or selves. 5 spots in line were sold from $35 up to $100. We knew there'd be at least 28 systems so these spots basically guaranteed a system. About 15 extra people stayed even after they knew they wouldn't get a system and picked up controllers/games. For all the newcomers at the end of the line or those who stayed and didn't score a system, I told them to go to the local CostCo, as they opened at 10am and were going to get systems as well. No one was camping out near there last night when we made our Target surveillance. The necessity of owning a CostCo membership actually weeds out a lot of younger gamers.

I was really surprised at the difference between this launch and the Playstation 3. That launch was insane with violence erupting countrywide. I think a big faction of that is that most of the PS3 campers were "mercenaries" in that they were just out to make a profit and sell the system. Hell there's nothing out for it anyway to warrant keeping it.

I played some on Sunday and Monday, all the games and started Zelda. I'm very impressed and I'm glad I did launch this year. Much more fun than just picking up my pre-ordered 360 last year!

The Nintendo crowd seemed much more apt to actually keep their systems and not turn a profit. The only profit I saw being made was selling line-spaces, and those were (mostly) from people who could wait to get theirs a few weeks down the road, and were happy with $35-100 extra dollars lining their pockets.

The guy who was first to buy a spot in line (11), intimated to me that even $100 would have been worth the smile on his son's face for his birthday this week. I straight-out told him he was a great father and that his kid was lucky to have him. Wii2006 was an experience for sure.

Well idiocy continues! Wii + Gesticulatory people = dangerous. There have been 3 instances of people using their Wiimotes so ridiculously strong that they've snapped the connecting lanyard and flailed into TVs and a laptop LCD.

Laptop Shenanigans

And here's the redneck who smashed his tv first:


Way to kick it in Pele.

Oh my..it hurts so good! Cue the eBay scams!

This guy won an auction for 3 ORIGINAL Playstation systems. Do a quick search and you'll see you can net just one for as little as $20. How much did he pay?....almost a grand.

Ouchers.

HAHAHAHAH!

PS3 nosedive!

All the retards who bought the PS3 (likely 90% of them) with visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads, are not going to net as much as they thought. I knew this would happen.

Before it launched Playstation 3 was selling for $2,000 to $3,000. The most I saw was 5k. The day the console laucnhed, the average price of a PS3 on eBay was $2,900.

By Saturday the average was around $1,100.

PWNED!

Matt Cassamina's Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess review is up on IGN. Scored a 9.5 but in my opinion the game is nearly a 10. Here are his closing comments:

"The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is, in my opinion, the greatest Zelda game ever created and one of the best launch titles in the history of launch titles – second only, perhaps, to the at-the-time ground-breaking Super Mario 64. It is also one of the finest games I have ever played. The experience is made better and not worse on Wii. The Wii remote and nunchuk add accuracy and speed to exploration and combat for a heightened sense of immersion. While the game has just about everything going for it, including improved controls, a long and engrossing quest, brain-teasing dungeons and some beautiful graphics, it's not perfect. The difficulty has been upped over Wind Waker, but I wish it were harder still – the boss fights are oftentimes too easy, for example. Additionally, while the visuals are generally impressive, some textures remain blurry to the point they are noticeable. And finally, I still question why Nintendo refuses to add either voice work to the side characters (especially since Twilight Princess features such an improved, dark storyline) or orchestrated music to the soundtrack.

Nintendo's new console ships with Wii Sports, which effectively demonstrates a new breed of games only possible on Wii. The Zelda franchise is equally exclusive to the machine and Twilight Princess is must-see, must-play and must-own entry into the series that proves over and over again why Nintendo is the best developer in the world."

I agree with just about everything he says too, which is rare. I'd love to see some voice acting for NPCs. Link can be a mute just like Gordon Freeman is for Half-Life. And after hearing some of the most amazing orchestral and symphonic arrangements done for this series, (I admit I have an extensive orchestrated Zelda library) the MIDI-sounds are getting old. But this, as well as my next point, may be for a simple reason.

Cassamina also mentions the game textures, both gameplay and cutscene. The textures on the overworld make it evident that TP was originally a Gamecube game. That said I'm only about an hour into the game and I'm already blown away. Graphically the game is still beautiful, and if it WERE released on the Gamecube I wouldn't have known they could pull those visuals out.

The feel of the game is very dark. It starts out happy like former titles, very similar to Ocarina of time, I even liken it to an evolved original Zelda, but a technical successor. (Hell, Ocarina of Time floored me the first time I played, and it's what I attribute my survival of my tonsilectomy to)

It's not often when games come along that you're genuinely disappointed when their epic draws to its end. I know Twilight Princess is going to be that way, but thank God it's a lengthy title if anything. It's beyond me how they keep evolving this series, and it's far from stale. I doubt it ever will be.

Full Review Here

There are some sad sad people in the world.

Smash My Wii
Smash My PS3

The funny thing is no one cried over the Wii, but the Sony fanboys nearly offed themselves when they Peter-Gabriel'ed the PS3.

And for old times sake...here's last years atrocity.

Smash My XBox

I just feel bad for people who don't get a console of their choosing and have to see this. If they're trying to make a point, it's not apparent or even justifiable. If they do this "for other people" and just to see the looks on their faces, or for anti-fanboys, it's pretty sad.

Remember when console launches used to be safe and easy? I barely do.

Last night was the PLAYSTATION 3 midnight launch. The US isn't getting a ton of systems, but we're getting more than most. Targets, Wal-Marts, GameStops, Electronic Boutiques etc all might be getting 6-40 systems. The higher end of the spectrum reserved for the wholesale stores, not so much the gaming ones.

But this launch has gotten dangerous. I remember this time last year when I got my 360 there were news reports of people getting mugged for their 360s. I clutched mine and walked with a badass purpose out of my mall last year. If anyone was going to try mugging me they were going to have an Italian throwdown. This year it's more serious.

So far the violence that has been logged:

-a kid got slammed into a telephone poll in a mad rush for the front of the line
-Campers shot with BB guns
-Fruit juice super soakers drenching campers
-5 game stores held up for PS3's and 360s
-7 reported line muggings for money, laptops, iPods

You can see they start off with a few stupid pranks and then there's some serious violence. A guy who refused to give his money up got shot last night. But the most chilling story so far is down in Alparetta, Georgia. It took place at the very Best Buy I was in a few times during my business trips down there. A guy who wasn't even buying a PS3 got tailed from a Best Buy across town. While he was chatting with campers, the tailers took a sledgehammer and broke into his car. The system hadn't even launched yet, but they didn't know that. Serious crap going on here.

Only the Wii launch remains Saturday night, or Sunday morning, but be careful!

Story Link via Kotaku

I don't know how I ever lived without Synergy.

If any of you out there have multiple computers, whether it be a laptop and a PC, 2 PCs, or a PC and a Mac (or EVEN a plasma/LCD tv that you use in conjunction with your computer, you owe it to yourself to check out Synergy.

Instead of having 2 keyboards and mice next to or on top of one another, you could use a KVM switch. This would let you "switch" which computer the input devices are attached to. Simple Mouse/Keyboard combos cost up to $50 and ones that include video/monitor support can skyrocket up to $100.

Screw...that...shit.

Synergy, once installed on all the devices, will let you simply mouse over to the edge of your screen and work on the other monitor, seamlessly and fluidly. It will even share screen savers, password locks (so you only have to unlock one computer instead of both) and a universal clipboard. It's like using a dual monitor, but better, because you've got a whole other system to work with. Imagine how awesome it'd be with a PC and Mac.

The future is now!

Check it out.