And now we move onto The Two Towers Commentary :D

The Two Very Tall Buildings:

Disc I
 

• This time we begin with unused footage from some IMAX film. The mountains are almost… hypnotic.
• The Balrog is *really* wishing his wings were actually good for flying right now.
• Sam is apparently willing to sacrifice Frodo for his Box O’ Salt. Trust me, you don’t want to know how far he’d go for a pinch of oregano.
• For being a bloodthirsty brute, the leader of the uruks can sure annunciate his words. “Keep your mouth shu-T!”
•  think I know why it’s taking so long for the Three Hunters to catch up to the uruks. Every two minutes they stop and talk like they’re auditioning for a Shakespearian play.
• Look at how Gimli always falls behind in every running sequence. I think between shots, he jumps into a golf cart to make up the distance. Cheater!
• Spontaneous court drama in the Golden Hall! Eomer presents the evidence and the case seems air-tight, but Grima is as slick as his name. Eomer’s like: *clunck* “Here ya go Wormy, explain this helmet!” But then Wormtongue’s all like: “Whatever. You are *so* banished. And by the way, I got the hots for your sister.” Ouch. Eomer got ownzed.
• I’d love it if Aragorn called out to the Rohirrim, and they just kept on riding away. Aragorn: “Riders of Rohan! What news from the- hey! HEY! I’m talking to you!”
• Gandalf’s sword becomes Glamy of Lightning Damage +20. Tell us, Balrog, how does it feel to be smote?
• Wormtongue is just oozing pick-up lines at Eowyn. Though, there are probably better places to woo a girl you like other than the death-room of said girl’s cousin. Better luck next time, Grima. This isn't Three Weddings and a Funeral.
• Mean ol’ Gandalf is using his staff to give Theoden the worst case of constipation in his life. That’s just not right.
• Saruman: “Gandalf The White? Gandalf The Fool!” Saruman is just like us. You always think of the good come-backs *after* the argument is over. I feel for ya, man.
• “It will begin at Edoras.” “It will begin in Rohan” Saruman has this thing with beginnings. I wonder if he’s like this all day. “I am hungry. I shall eat dinner. It will begin in my kitchen.”

Disc II

• Gimli’s horse has inadvertently discovered the one weakness of Dwarves. Throw them onto their back and they’re as helpless as a tortoise. Gimli: “Um… a little help, please!”
• The King is ancient!... yet Eowyn is still gah-gah about him. What is it about women and older men, anyway?!
• Arwen: “This is not the end… It is the beginning.” Saruman would be so proud of her.
• The cameraman is supposed to focus on the Evenstar around Aragorn’s neck… but I think he’s just a liiiiitle too preoccupied with Arwen at the moment. Gives new meaning to the words “trust us”, I suppose.
• Theoden: “What is it?!” Aragorn: “Wargs! We’re under attack! We’re all gonna die! AAAAAAAH! *runs away*” That’s our King, always ready for a fight.
• As the wargs crest the hill, I think Legolas is trying really hard to get lasers to shoot out of his eyes.
• Eowyn: “I can fight!” Theoden: “No!” Oh, yes she can, Theoden, you chauvinist pig!
• Legolas initiates Long-Range-Artillery Mode. The elf is a one-eldar army!
• Legolas says: “Mind if I join you, Gimli?!” Leggy has l33t horse-mounting skillz!
• What’s this?! The Warg Captain has an Evenstar of his own! Yuck. Do elf maidens *ever* get boyfriends from their own species?!
• Theoden tries to be so subtle with Eowyn. “Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives…including your boyfriend- ANYWAY! Moving on….”
• “But, my lord, there is no such force.” Saruman should thank Grima. A set-up line like that only comes once in a decade!
• Half-dead Aragorn thinks his true love has come to save him, but actually Brego is just getting a little fresh. Even non-humanoids dig this guy!
• Arwen really stands by her Man in this scene, doesn’t she? Arwen: “There is still hope.” Elrond: “No there isn’t.” Arwen: “You’re right, there isn’t.” Elrond: “Take the ship, dear.” Arwen: “Ok. *leaves*” Maybe Aragorn should choose Eowyn after all.
• Hey, it’s Galadriel. Remember her? She’s using her Anytime Minutes to call up Elrond. I wonder: when you get such a call, does your ring ring?
• Looks like Faramir has managed to steal the movie-map. He really *is* the Prince of Thieves!- Faramir: “Your bodyguard?” Sam: “His gardener.” Sam’s best line of the trilogy as far as I’m concerned.
• Faramir: “He had an ill-favored look.” That’s the most diplomatic way of describing Gollum I’ve ever heard. Faramir might go on to describe Sauron as “well-sighted”.
• Gollum’s taking a dip in Faramir’s private Jacuzzi. The penalty for such an act is DEATH!
• Aragorn: “It is an army bred for a single purpose… to give this film an epic battle sequence.”
• Eowyn: “I’m to be sent with the women and children” Aragorn: “That is a noble charge.” Oh yeah, Aragorn? Then why don’t you do it and let Eowyn get some orc-busting action!
• An entmoot makes the Council of Elrond seem like a blur of efficiency.
• Legolas: “Your friends are with you, Aragorn.” Thanks, Leggy. I thought they were on the Moon or something.
• Uruk Translator: “UUUUUOOOOOAAAAH!” means “Company, halt!”- Uruks singing: “We will, we will, ROCK YOU!”
• Uruk Translator: “RAAAAAAAH!” means “Commence the attack!”
• Theoden: “So it begins….” Saruman’s spirit has not completely left this man.
• Theoden: “Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?” *Two* great set-up lines in one moive?! Saruman, you lucky dog!
• Uruk Beserker #369 was awarded the honor of carrying the Torch of Dooooom for the last few hundred yards due to his excellent ability to shake off the pain caused by many arrows being shot into his upper torso.
• After the explosion, Theoden has this great deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Um… what just happened?”
• Theoden distracts Aragorn and Gimli so that the uruks get the drop on them, then just boards up the gate without another word! You’re a jerk, Theoden.
• I think Faramir and his Merry Men are lost. They’ve stumbled into a World War II movie set.
• Theoden: “We’re doomed.” Aragorn: “Wait! I got an idea! Let’s charge blindly into them!” Theoden: “Alright! Let’s do it!” This quickly becomes Theoden’s favorite strategy.
• Even the Sun is fighting for the good-guys now! This is excellent!
• Treebeard wants to water Saruman’s lawn… permanently.
• Uruk-Hai: “Look! A convenient forest in which to escape! What luck! We’re saved and- WAAAAAAAAA!” Poor, gullible Uruk-Hai.