THANK YOU for sending me chain letters in 2003 & 2004!!

• I stopped drinking Coca Cola after finding it’s only good for removing toilet stains.
• I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
• I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
• I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
• I’ve stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
  I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
• I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
• I’ve stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
• I think I’m turning gay because when I go to parties I don’t look at any females no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
• I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl who was about to die in hospital about 7,000 times. Funny, that girl’s been 7 years old since 1993.
• I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are supposed to send me when I participated in their special email program.
• My Ericsson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

BUT I AM POSITIVE THAT ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE OF A STINKING CHAIN THAT I BROKE OR FORGOT TO FOLLOW, AND NOW I’VE GOT THE CURSE FROM HELL.