Thursday, July 29, 2004

Gollum's Song
 
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
 
Don’t say – goodbye
Don’t say – I didn’t try
 
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies
You told us
The hurt, the blame!
 
And we will weep
To be so alone
We are lost!
We can never go home.
 
So in the end
I will be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me.
 
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn’t try
 
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
 
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost,
You can never go home.
You are lost,
You can never go home...
 
Can't tell you how moving this song is....
I never realized how perverted Bambi was in my youth. I am a wiser man this day...

Bambi Taken Completely Out Of Context

"I figure three inches is plenty long."
"I want it hard! "
"I didn't feel it squish!"
"Well quit sucking on it; it isn't making it any better!"
"I'm not sure if it looks good smaller."
"You have a big one!"
"Give me a thrill ride!" "
There! I elongonated him!"
"How did I get it bigger before? Oh! This is how I did it!"
"I started playing around with it, and woooo!"
"Well, how does it go in?"
"It's this great big, humongous long thing!"
As if this wasn't enough, here's my favorite list of quotes I'm glad they didn't use in The Lord Of The Rings movies.

Witch-king: Mordor, we have a problem.
Apollo 13

Sauron to Saruman: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.
Austin Powers

Aragorn (after decapitating Lurtz): Not the time to lose one's head.
Legolas: No.
Aragorn: That's not the way to get ahead in life.
Legolas: No.
Aragorn: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.
Legolas: Hmm.
Aragorn: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.
Legolas: Okay, that'll do.
Aragorn: Okay.
Austin Powers

Gandalf in Moria: I just want to apologize to Sam's mom, and Pippin's mom, and Merry’s mom. I am so sorry! Because it was my fault. I was the one who brought them here. I was the one that said ‘keep going South.’ I was the one who said that we were not lost. It was my fault, because it was my project. I am so scared! I know what's out there. We are going to die out here! I am so scared!
The Blair Witch Project
 
Boromir (in Moria re cave troll): Of all the places in all the mountains in all the world, it walks into a mine.
Casablanca
 
Frodo to Boromir: There's only two people I trust. One is me. The other is not you.
Con Air

Galadriel to Frodo: It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not.
Face/Off
 
Frodo to Boromir: You want the Ring... YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RING
A Few Good Men

Sauron to Saruman: Those orcs you sold me,they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me... queer orcs. I want my money back.
Gladiator
 
Strider to Pippin: How'd you like them apples?
Good Will Hunting

Aragorn: Nazgûl. I hate these guys.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
 
Aragorn to Frodo after Moria: Are you crying?! Are you crying?! There's no crying on this quest!
A League Of Their Own
 
Elrond: Men? Men are weak. The race of men is failing. The blood of Numenor is all but spent. It's pride and dignity forgotten. It is because of men the ring survives. I'd like to share a revelation during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify their species. I realized that they're not actually mammals. Every mammal in Middle Earth instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but men do not. They move to an area and they multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed. The only way they can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism in Middle Earth that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Men are a disease, a cancer of this Middle Earth. They are a plague, and we are the cure. I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste Isildur’s stink. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free. When’s the next ferry to Valinor?
The Matrix
 
Gandalf (in Moria): It reads 'Here may be found the last words of aaarrrggghhhh....
'Monty Python And The Holy Grail
 
Aragorn: Hand me my sword.Boromir: Which one is it?Aragorn: It's the one with ‘bad !!!!!!!!!!!!’ written on it. In Elvish.
Pulp Fiction
 
Legolas (looking at the orcs outside Helm’s Deep): How many?
Aragorn: 10,000.
Aragorn: 10,000?
Haldir: (further away) How many?
Legolas: 50! (to Aragorn) He can't count anyway.
Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves
 
Aragorn: Oh my God. They killed Gandalf. You  bastards!
South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut
 
Frodo looking in Galadriels mirror: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Spaceballs
 
Frodo: They call me Mr. Frodo
Unbreakable
 
Frodo: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sam: Why not?
Frodo: What I'm saying is and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form is that hobbit-hole owners and gardeners can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sam: That's not true. I have a number of hobbit-hole owner friends and there is no sex involved.
Frodo: No you don't.
Sam: Yes I do.
Frodo: No you don't.
Sam: Yes I do.
Frodo: You only think you do.
Sam: You say I'm having sex with these hobbits without my knowledge?
Frodo: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sam: They do not!
Frodo: Do too.
Sam: They do not.
Frodo: Do too.
Sam: How do you know?
Frodo: Because no hobbit-hole owner can be friends with a gardener that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with him.
Sam: So, you're saying that a hobbit-hole owner can be friends with a gardener he finds unattractive?
Frodo: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sam: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Frodo: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sam: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Frodo: I guess not.
Sam: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in Mordor.
When Harry Met Sally

And now we move onto The Two Towers Commentary :D

The Two Very Tall Buildings:

Disc I
 
  • This time we begin with unused footage from some IMAX film. The mountains are almost… hypnotic.
  • The Balrog is *really* wishing his wings were actually good for flying right now.
  • Sam is apparently willing to sacrifice Frodo for his Box O’ Salt. Trust me, you don’t want to know how far he’d go for a pinch of oregano.
  • For being a bloodthirsty brute, the leader of the uruks can sure annunciate his words. “Keep your mouth shu-T!”
  •  think I know why it’s taking so long for the Three Hunters to catch up to the uruks. Every two minutes they stop and talk like they’re auditioning for a Shakespearian play.
  • Look at how Gimli always falls behind in every running sequence. I think between shots, he jumps into a golf cart to make up the distance. Cheater!
  • Spontaneous court drama in the Golden Hall! Eomer presents the evidence and the case seems air-tight, but Grima is as slick as his name. Eomer’s like: *clunck* “Here ya go Wormy, explain this helmet!” But then Wormtongue’s all like: “Whatever. You are *so* banished. And by the way, I got the hots for your sister.” Ouch. Eomer got ownzed.
  • I’d love it if Aragorn called out to the Rohirrim, and they just kept on riding away. Aragorn: “Riders of Rohan! What news from the- hey! HEY! I’m talking to you!”
  • Gandalf’s sword becomes Glamy of Lightning Damage +20. Tell us, Balrog, how does it feel to be smote?
  • Wormtongue is just oozing pick-up lines at Eowyn. Though, there are probably better places to woo a girl you like other than the death-room of said girl’s cousin. Better luck next time, Grima. This isn't Three Weddings and a Funeral.
  • Mean ol’ Gandalf is using his staff to give Theoden the worst case of constipation in his life. That’s just not right.
  • Saruman: “Gandalf The White? Gandalf The Fool!” Saruman is just like us. You always think of the good come-backs *after* the argument is over. I feel for ya, man.
  • “It will begin at Edoras.” “It will begin in Rohan” Saruman has this thing with beginnings. I wonder if he’s like this all day. “I am hungry. I shall eat dinner. It will begin in my kitchen.”

Disc II

  • Gimli’s horse has inadvertently discovered the one weakness of Dwarves. Throw them onto their back and they’re as helpless as a tortoise. Gimli: “Um… a little help, please!”
  • The King is ancient!... yet Eowyn is still gah-gah about him. What is it about women and older men, anyway?!
  • Arwen: “This is not the end… It is the beginning.” Saruman would be so proud of her.
  • The cameraman is supposed to focus on the Evenstar around Aragorn’s neck… but I think he’s just a liiiiitle too preoccupied with Arwen at the moment. Gives new meaning to the words “trust us”, I suppose.
  • Theoden: “What is it?!” Aragorn: “Wargs! We’re under attack! We’re all gonna die! AAAAAAAH! *runs away*” That’s our King, always ready for a fight.
  • As the wargs crest the hill, I think Legolas is trying really hard to get lasers to shoot out of his eyes.
  • Eowyn: “I can fight!” Theoden: “No!” Oh, yes she can, Theoden, you chauvinist pig!
  • Legolas initiates Long-Range-Artillery Mode. The elf is a one-eldar army!
  • Legolas says: “Mind if I join you, Gimli?!” Leggy has l33t horse-mounting skillz!
  • What’s this?! The Warg Captain has an Evenstar of his own! Yuck. Do elf maidens *ever* get boyfriends from their own species?!
  • Theoden tries to be so subtle with Eowyn. “Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives…including your boyfriend- ANYWAY! Moving on….”
  • “But, my lord, there is no such force.” Saruman should thank Grima. A set-up line like that only comes once in a decade!
  • Half-dead Aragorn thinks his true love has come to save him, but actually Brego is just getting a little fresh. Even non-humanoids dig this guy!
  • Arwen really stands by her Man in this scene, doesn’t she? Arwen: “There is still hope.” Elrond: “No there isn’t.” Arwen: “You’re right, there isn’t.” Elrond: “Take the ship, dear.” Arwen: “Ok. *leaves*” Maybe Aragorn should choose Eowyn after all.
  • Hey, it’s Galadriel. Remember her? She’s using her Anytime Minutes to call up Elrond. I wonder: when you get such a call, does your ring ring?
  • Looks like Faramir has managed to steal the movie-map. He really *is* the Prince of Thieves!- Faramir: “Your bodyguard?” Sam: “His gardener.” Sam’s best line of the trilogy as far as I’m concerned.
  • Faramir: “He had an ill-favored look.” That’s the most diplomatic way of describing Gollum I’ve ever heard. Faramir might go on to describe Sauron as “well-sighted”.
  • Gollum’s taking a dip in Faramir’s private Jacuzzi. The penalty for such an act is DEATH!
  • Aragorn: “It is an army bred for a single purpose… to give this film an epic battle sequence.”
  • Eowyn: “I’m to be sent with the women and children” Aragorn: “That is a noble charge.” Oh yeah, Aragorn? Then why don’t you do it and let Eowyn get some orc-busting action!
  • An entmoot makes the Council of Elrond seem like a blur of efficiency.
  • Legolas: “Your friends are with you, Aragorn.” Thanks, Leggy. I thought they were on the Moon or something.
  • Uruk Translator: “UUUUUOOOOOAAAAH!” means “Company, halt!”- Uruks singing: “We will, we will, ROCK YOU!”
  • Uruk Translator: “RAAAAAAAH!” means “Commence the attack!”
  • Theoden: “So it begins….” Saruman’s spirit has not completely left this man.
  • Theoden: “Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?” *Two* great set-up lines in one moive?! Saruman, you lucky dog!
  • Uruk Beserker #369 was awarded the honor of carrying the Torch of Dooooom for the last few hundred yards due to his excellent ability to shake off the pain caused by many arrows being shot into his upper torso.
  • After the explosion, Theoden has this great deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Um… what just happened?”
  • Theoden distracts Aragorn and Gimli so that the uruks get the drop on them, then just boards up the gate without another word! You’re a jerk, Theoden.
  • I think Faramir and his Merry Men are lost. They’ve stumbled into a World War II movie set.
  • Theoden: “We’re doomed.” Aragorn: “Wait! I got an idea! Let’s charge blindly into them!” Theoden: “Alright! Let’s do it!” This quickly becomes Theoden’s favorite strategy.
  • Even the Sun is fighting for the good-guys now! This is excellent!
  • Treebeard wants to water Saruman’s lawn… permanently.
  • Uruk-Hai: “Look! A convenient forest in which to escape! What luck! We’re saved and- WAAAAAAAAA!” Poor, gullible Uruk-Hai.

Some funny Fellowship of the Ring Commentary and Observations :)

Disc I

  • I’m a big proponent of having the title be the final words of the narration…. Of course, this would mean that the movie would have to be titled: None Now Live Who Remember It… and that’s just not as cool as Lord of the Rings
  • I love how each race reacts to the rings. The elves look at them like: “Ooo, shiney things!” the dwarves are like: “Alright! Rings rock!” and the men are like: “What the heck are these for?!”
  • Just in case you missed the narration, the word MORDOR is quite prevalent on the map
  • I wonder, did Isildur unsheathe his sword at the start of the march and walk with it out all the way to Mordor? I think someone’s desperate to show that they’re the boss. Although it would explain why Aragorn likes to have his own sword out all the time
  • There’s Frodo and Gandalf, just yucking it up. For some reason, I giggle at the thought of Frodo leaping towards the wizard’s embrace, but missing and going right over the cart…. I’m a mean person.
  • Hey! Whadaya know! My spellchecker recognizes the names “Frodo” and “Gandalf”. Bill Gates must be a fan.
  • Hmm, the movie could’ve ended rather prematurely there. Bilbo: “We don’t want anymore visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations!” Gandalf: “Oh! I’m terribly sorry.” *leaves* THE END
  • Bilbo must be really drunk. He stands up and gives perhaps the most staggering, incoherent speech in Middle-Earth since that one time when Celeborn was asked to dedicate a new water theme-park at the Grey Havens.
  • The cameraman must be a wraith! He can see Biblo with the ring on, and follow his movements. Look out behind you, Bilbo!
  • “I’m not trying to rob you! I’m trying to help you.” Spoken like a true used-car salesman. Look at these low prices! Gandalf must be crazy!
  • Boo! There’s Sauron. Remember him? He’s an eye now! Who would’ve thought?! Ya know how pirates always have one eye missing? Well this pirate has lost everything *except* one eye. That’s hardcore! Sauron The Eye says: Hands off me ring, old man, yarrr!
  • Frodo: “I don’t understand.” Gandalf: “Neither do I.” See? It’s just like real life. No one has a single clue as to what’s going on!
  • Poor Gandalf has so much faith in Saruman. “He’ll know what to do.” Yeah, like JOIN SAURON!
  • After the first door slams shut, Gandalf must have thought that the wind did it, and not because Saruman might just be wanting him to stay for tea. It takes four or five doors before Gandalf gets the picture. A little slow there, I think.
  • Pippin: “He’s over there. Frodo Baggins.” Well, Frodo had a secret identity for all of FIVE MINUTES. Way to go, Pippin.
  • Nazgul lose cool-points for trying to outrun the river by fleeing DOWNSTREAM.
  • There were some wicked drugs in that Morgul blade. Frodo is totally trippin’. He even thinks Elrond looks like Agent Smith!
  • Elrond Half-Elven is also Elrond-Hairline-Receeded. Must be his human blood.
  • Once again, we are treated to a variety of looks, this time for Rivendell. Boromir’s look says: “Did I take a wrong turn?” Legolas says: “If anyone of these elves is prettier than me, I’ll tear them apart!” and Gimli says: “Well, I’m here. Whop-dee-do. Can I go home now?”
  • Boromir: “This is Isildur’s heir?” and Legolas reveals himself as Aragorn’s first and foremost fanboy. “He’s heir to the throne of Gondor, human. You best RECOGNIZE!”
  • Aragorn: “You have my sword” Legolas: “And you have my bow” Gimli: “And my axe” (whips out electric guitar) Sam: “And my plain hobbit sense” Pippin and Merry: “And our witty comedy” Boromir: “And my angst” Way to contribute, Boromir.
Disc II
 
  • As the Fellowship travels, you can see Pippin almost bouncing as he walks. I bet he’s singing some really annoying song. “99 rings of power on the ground, 99 rings of power, pick one up, to twist and corrupt, 98 rings of power on the ground! Come on, everybody!”
  • When the nine companions crest the hill in grand fashion, I always imagine Boromir tripping at the end, and causing everyone else to fall down with him… in slow motion… with the dramatic music still playing.
  • Gandalf employs the most liberal use of the word “pass” I have ever encountered. According to wizards, a pass is the peak of the tallest mountain in sight. Go figure.
  • Oooo, Boromir has the ring. The tension in the Fellowship is palpable. Aragorn’s ready to give Boromir a haircut he’ll never forget.
  • After Legolas walks effortlessly up the snowy path, I always expect him to then snowboard down. Arrogant elves.
  • Legolas: “Goblins.” No my dear Leggy, that’s an arrow. Goblins are green and not so pointy. Why are the pretty ones always so dumb...
  • I love it that Gandalf bangs his staff on the ground twice, because the first time the light doesn’t turn on all the way. Magic is like technology, sometimes a good hit or two is all you need to get things working.
  • Near the mine-shaft, Pippin *so* saves Merry from falling, but does Merry say thank-you? No! Then he chastises Pippin about tripping on the stairs. You’re a jerk, Merry.
  • Legolas: “We must move on. We cannot linger.” The redundancy of these statements leads me to conclude that Legolas is in love with his own voice. Looking at Aragorn, I think he agrees with me.
  • Gandalf: “To the bridge of Khazad-dum!” That’s the orchestra’s cue, you see?
  • I don’t buy the argument that the lack of handrails in Moria is due to the Dwarves’ lower center of gravity. There were serious cuts-backs in Moria’s safety budget. I hate bureaucracies.
  • Legolas will now demonstrate the newest elven innovation: Goblin-Seeking Arrows. It’s the elf-version of the cruise missile. Leggy is high-tech
  • Gandalf takes a dive. Judges?... 5.9, 5.9, 5.9, 5.9, and a 3.5? I think the goblin judge is biased.
  • Haldir may be incredibly heterosexual… but I’m not so sure about that elf on his right.
  • When Boromir tripped, he should’ve rolled down the hill all the way to the riverbank, cursing the whole time: “Ow! D’oh! Sonofa-! Ack! Ooof!”
  • One might think that Aragorn refuses the One Ring out of strength of will, but really it’s because he already has a ring on his own… and he likes his better.
  • Right after Aragorn salutes the Uruk-Hai taskforce, I want him to raise his blade high and shout: BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL! Male Choir: “He-Man!”
  • Only Lurtz was smart enough to bring a bow. This is why he’s the leader.
  • Forget the Energizer! Boromir just keeps going (*twack*) and going (*twack*) and going (*twack*… *thump*)… never mind.
  • Lurtz makes the crucial mistake of forgetting that bows are long-range weapons. Aragorn sees to it that he pays for this error.
  • Sam gets 100 points for being persistent and -1000 points for nearly drowning himself.
  • Instead of giving Boromir a proper burial, Aragorn thinks it’s much funnier to steal his gauntlets, hurl his corpse into the river, and let it go over the waterfall to get smashed onto the rocks below. You’re one sick man, Mr. SonofArathorn.
  • Aragorn: “Frodo’s fate is no longer in our hands.” Well, the King’s thrown in the towel. We’re fast running out of heroes.
  • Gimli is ecstatic about hunting orcs. This is his purpose in life.
May it be an evening star

Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornië utúlië (Quenya: Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Quenya: Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome

You may rise to find the sun
Mornië utúlië (Quenya: Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Quenya: Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now
A promise lives within you now

-Enya~May It Be-

Researchers in the Säo Paulo University's Physics Department have successfully connected a group of 11 neurons from a blue crab's mouth parts to a computer, allowing them to control the movements of the crabs mouth parts via electrical signals.

By learning more about how to replicate the function of the crustaceans' neurons, the researchers hope to be able to someday build a giant, samba-dancing, capoira-kicking robotic crab walker with which to impose a Brazilian dominance over the entirety of mankind.

Or they want to build prosthetic arms for humans; I forget which.

When you give teenagers a bunch of Lego, nine times out of ten your going to end up with a leaky Lego-bong that they try to seal up with the shellac from the garage, and you're going to have to take them to the hospital after they inhale still-toxic-even-if-water-filtered fumes. But on that tenth time, they're instead going to create a combination Xbox and Super Nintendo -- the SNEX box, they will call it -- and post those pictures to the internet. Is it the best case mod ever? Well, no, not really, but at least they aren't hepped up on the goofballs.


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I amar prestar aen…The world is changed.
han mathon ne nen…I feel it in the water.
han mathon ne chae…I feel it in the Earth.
a han noston ned gwilith.I smell it in the air.
Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it.

It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made.

In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ring, to control all others. And into this Ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life."One Ring to rule them all."

One by one, free lands in Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor and on the slopes of Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth.

Victory was near. But the power of the Ring could not be undone.

It was in this moment when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's sword.

Sauron, the enemy of the free-peoples of Middle-Earth was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.

But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the Ring of Power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost.

History became legend, legend became myth and for two and a half thousand years, the Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.

The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him.

The Ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forest of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Ring of Power perceived. Its time had now come.

It abandoned Gollum.

But something happened then the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable.

A Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.

For the time soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

Monday, July 26, 2004

My blog is getting prettier by the day.
Look at the new Eternal Sunshine theme :)
Finally got it to work! A little bit is cut off at the bottom, but we'll see if I can't remedy that.


I love some of these stories and pics. Thought I'd share a couple fun ones with you all.

At the close of the final exam, the proctor announced time was up and directed the students to turn their blue books in. One student, hastening to finish a thought, kept scribbling. Finishing, he rushed to the front of the room and handed in his exam book, one of the last to do so. The proctor said, "I won't accept this," and the flabbergasted student asked why. "I told everyone to stop and you kept on going. I can't accept it." The student was aghast. "What'll happen then?" "You'll probably flunk," shrugged the proctor. With that, the student drew himself up proudly and asked, "Do you know who I am?" Unimpressed, the proctor answered, "No." The student replied, "Good," and jammed his blue book into the center of the pile on the desk.

 Always write something on those exams and tests. You never know what you'll get credit for!:

1, 2, 3, 4, & 5

Hehe some mindfun for the time being :P

Ok I'm such a Star Wars nerd even after all these years but I had to post this the second I found out.

SAN DIEGO (Hollywood Reporter) - Next year's third and final installment of the "Star Wars" prequels will be called "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith," the film's producers said Saturday.

The name was unveiled Saturday for 6,500 comic-book fans at the 35th annual Comic-Con International in San Diego. Many in the audience jumped out of their seats, thunderously screaming in joy. Some even gave one another hugs. (LOL)

For the uninitiated, the evil Sith are sworn enemies of the Jedi, the saber-wielding knights whose numbers include Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker.

"Star Wars" creator George Lucas reignited the lucrative franchise in 1999 with "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace," which grossed $431 million domestically. In 2002, he released "Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones," which ended up with $311 million. While both were hotly anticipated, their screenplay and acting shortcomings did underwhelm many hardcore fans.

The new film, set for release May 19, marks the return of Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, a.k.a Darth Vader, and Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

BOO YAH. I so can't wait for Ep III.
To celebrate the delivery (expected and anticipated delivery actually) of my "Terminal" movie poster today, I'm posting about the real life events that the movie is based upon. Didn't know someone was actually living in an airport eh? Well here's the full story:

Claim:  A man has been living at a Paris airport since 1988.

Status: True.

Origins:  What follows is one representative newspaper account of the strange story of Merhan Karimi Nasseri, a man without country, trapped by his lack of papers in Charles De Gaulle Airport in Paris, France, since 26 August 1988:

He could be any passenger waiting for a flight, sitting patiently on a red plastic bench in Charles de Gaulle Airport's Terminal One, luggage piled neatly by his side. He sips a cup of hot chocolate and scans the crowd, occasionally cocking his head to listen to the airport announcements. He peruses a book, Hillary Rodham Clinton's "It Takes a Village."

But Merhan Karimi Nasseri is going nowhere. He has been waiting for a flight out of France, he says, for 10 years. Nasseri was expelled from Iran a decade ago for his political views. Through a series of fateful missteps, he landed here without any documents. Since then, Europe's increasingly stiff stance toward refugees and his fragile mental state have kept him at the airport here in legal limbo. His is a story of broken hopes and bureaucracy, of a trip across Europe in search of a homeland that became a journey into mental chaos and despair. And it is a story of a man who has searched for his family, only to find an adopted one here, at Charles de Gaulle. "He's like a part of the airport. Everyone knows him," says Muhamed Mourrid, the manager of the Bye Bye Bar, pointing to the spot where Nasseri, 47, has lived for a decade. "That's his table, his chair, his place." Adds Marise Petry, a Lufthansa clerk, "He's one of us. We even get letters for him."

Among the annals of horrific refugee tales, Nasseri's story is remarkable for its pathos and complexity. It begins in Iran in 1977, when Nasseri, fresh from studying in England, was expelled for protesting against the shah. His expulsion left him without a passport. Nasseri came to Europe. He bounced from capital to capital, applying for refugee status and being refused, again and again, for nearly four years. In 1981, his request for political asylum from Iran was finally granted by the United Nations High Commission for Refugees in Belgium. That decision gave him refugee credentials, which in turn allowed him to seek citizenship in a European country. The son of an Iranian and a Briton, Nasseri decided in 1986 on England with the hope of finding relatives there. He got as far as Paris, where in 1988 his briefcase containing his refugee documents was stolen in a train station. Nasseri boarded a plane for London anyway. But when officials at Heathrow Airport found he had no passport, they sent him back to Charles de Gaulle. At first, the French police arrested him for illegal entry. But as Nasseri had no documents, there was no country of origin to which he could be deported. So he took up residence in Terminal One. From its circular confines, he and his attorney, the Paris-based human rights lawyer Christian Bourget, battled to define his status and send him to London.

In 1992, a French court finally ruled that Nasseri had entered the airport legally as a refugee and could not be expelled from it. But the court could not force the French government to allow him out of the airport onto French soil. In fact, Bourget said, French authorities refused to give Nasseri either a refugee or transit visa. "It was pure bureaucracy," said the lawyer. French immigration authorities have no comment on the case. Bourget and Nasseri then focused on Belgium, where they hoped to reclaim Nasseri's original refugee documents. But Belgian refugee officials refused to mail them to him in France. They argued that Nasseri had to present himself in person so that they could be sure he was the same man to whom they had granted political asylum years before. But, inexplicably, the Belgian government refused at that point to allow Nasseri to return there. And under Belgian law, a refugee who voluntarily leaves a country that has accepted him cannot return.

In 1995, the Belgian government finally told Nasseri that he could retrieve his refugee documents if he agreed to live in Belgium under the supervision of a social worker. Nasseri refused. He said he would move only to Great Britain. And so here he has remained, year after year. At first glance, the dignified man does not appear to be a refugee who sleeps on an airport bench because he has nowhere else to go. His clothes are clean, his moustache well-trimmed. He keeps his one blazer covered with plastic wrap, hanging from an airport cart. His belongings are carefully packed in a frayed suitcase and a stack of Lufthansa boxes. Nasseri nods hello to a clerk, who calls him "Alfred," his nickname here. He follows the news closely, thanks to the most recent Time magazine, which the postman has just dropped off. And he loves to discuss the new selections from the Book-of-the-Month Club. "I just keep on reading, every day," said the soft-spoken Nasseri, a courtly gentleman who rises and offers his seat to a visitor. "I just keep waiting here." His pallid complexion is testament to his inability to cross the airport threshold to the outside world. He walks to the doors of Terminal One and absorbs fresh air as they swing open. But he never steps outside. His hollow cheeks and thin frame show the limits of the generosity of airport staff and strangers to help with his meals. Nasseri's confused account of his plight speaks to the psychological price he has paid in his fight to become a man who belongs somewhere. "Nobody could suffer all he did and stay normal," noted Bourget. The sad truth is this: After fighting for years to leave the airport and apply for citizenship elsewhere, Nasseri was afraid to do so when the opportunity arose. Belgium offered Nasseri the chance to settle there, but he refused. "Now, I think he will stay in the airport until he dies," Bourget concluded softly.

His bizarre tale has brought him a degree of fame. He has been the subject of news reports from Finland to Britain. His life story became a 1994 French film, starring Jean Rochefort. Nasseri gets fewer visitors now to punctuate the long days down on Terminal One's boutique level, ringed with stores and small cafes. But he still has a following who help clothe and feed him and lift his spirits. "He does no harm to anyone," said Papa Starr, manager of the Les Palmes restaurant. "Everyone cares for him here." Several times a week, the airport priest stops by to visit him, as does Dr. Phillipe Bargain, the airport doctor. Many staff regularly visit him at his table for a cup of coffee and a chat. "I get lots of cards at Christmas," he said. "I call it my American Christmas." His life follows the quotidian airport cycle. He wakes at 5:30 in order to shave in the men's room before passengers arrive. He reads all day long. At night, he waits until the airport stores are locked before he brushes his teeth with the toothbrush and toothpaste from a complimentary airline travel kit. Weekly, he rinses out his clothes overnight in the bathroom. Nasseri is renowned throughout the airport for his refusal to ask for help. "We have a colleague who gave him clothes, but he returned them, saying 'I'm not a beggar,'" said Crystelle L'Hospitalier, a Lufthansa clerk. But he has to eat, and accepts occasional meal vouchers and francs from stewardesses and airport staff.

As the years have slipped by, it has become increasingly clear that Nasseri will never leave Charles de Gaulle. His airport years have made him "crazier by the day," on the topic of his future, said airport doctor Bargain. When he talks about flying to London, the staff here greet him with understanding smiles. "An airport is kind of a place between heaven and earth," said Danielle Yzerman, spokeswoman for Charles de Gaulle. "He has found a home here."1 Nasseri, who has since adopted the name "Sir, Alfred Merhan" (that's not a typo — Nasseri took both the title and its misplaced comma from a mistake in a letter from British immigration), has changed the story he tells about his background several times over the years:

Over the years, he has claimed many things about his origins. At one time his mother was Swedish, another time English. Nasseri's effectively reinvented himself in the Charles de Gaulle airport and denies these days that he's Iranian, deflecting any conversation about his childhood in Tehran. ("He pretends he doesn't speak Persian," his longtime lawyer, Christian Bourguet, says. "He was interviewed by Iranian journalists and made believe he didn't understand.") When we first met two years ago, he insisted that the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees was attempting to locate his parents in order to establish his identity. But a spokeswoman for the agency dismissed the assertion as "pure folly." Early on in his saga, Nasseri maintained that he was expelled from his homeland for antigovernment activity in 1977. According to a number of reports, Nasseri protested against the regime of Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlevi while a student in England, and when he returned to Iran, found himself imprisoned, and shortly thereafter exiled. He bounced around Europe for a few years with temporary refugee papers, alighting finally in Belgium, where he was awarded official refugee status in 1981. He traveled to Britain and France without difficulty until 1988, when he landed at Charles de Gaulle airport after being denied entry into Britain, because, he contends, his passport and refugee certificate were stolen in a mugging on a Paris subway. Nasseri could not prove who he was, nor offer proof of his refugee status. So he moved into the Zone d'attente, a holding area for travelers without papers. He stayed for days, then weeks — then months, then years. As his bizarre odyssey stretched on, Bourguet, the noted French human rights lawyer, took on the case, and the news media piled on. Articles appeared around the world, and Nasseri became the subject of three documentary films. (Oddly, apparently none of his friends or relatives have attempted to contact him.)2 Nasseri is known for his honesty (when he isn't talking about himself) and his refusal of charity. On two occasions he turned in billfolds full of money that had been mislaid by passengers. Airline and airport personnel push meal vouchers on him so he can eat. "French fries are my favorite," he confides. "It's not a very healthy diet, but I get enough."

On 17 September 1999, an international travel card and a French residency permit were put into Nasseri's hands. With them, he's now free to leave the airport, either to take up residency in France or to fly to another country that will allow him entry.

He refuses to sign them, however, because they list his nationality as Iranian, and he wants it listed as British. He remains at Charles de Gaulle airport, using the excuse that he's determined to stick to this point rather than face life outside the terminal:

[In 1999] he finally got permission to leave the airport — in fact, he can now go wherever he likes in Europe. The problem is, he no longer wants to. "He is scared to leave this bubble world he has been living in," said Dr. Philippe Bargain, the airport's medical director. "Finally getting the papers has been a huge shock to him, as if he was just thrown from his horse. When you wait 11 years for something and suddenly in a few minutes you sign some papers and it's done — imagine what a shock that is." "He will have to be weaned from the airport, like an addict really." Dr. Bargain said. "Still, it does make you wonder what kind of a society we live in that this can happen to a man."3 As of the summer of 2004, Nasseri is still living in the airport. He does not lack for money — Dreamworks paid him a rumored $250,000 for the rights to his story.

Interesting stuff eh?