Thursday, October 26, 2006

I heard this a long time ago but I liked it enough to post on my blog :P

Bryan wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. Bryan is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did anything wrong. Bryan had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them,a single red rose!

Bryan sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean andp ressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.


He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!:

Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!

Love,
Sherry


He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Bryan asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table $89.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time..............PRICELESS!!!
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Some shows start off amazing, and then fade in subsequent seasons. I'm glad that Lost is still keeping my attention week after week. They dropped a bomb in the first episode of Season 3 and it was slow going for a week or so, but now things are picking up again. I'm really interested to see where things get taken, and how they'll tie older themes back into the show.

And damn it why did Locke lose the use of his legs? I want that question answered soon lol.
Here's a little trip down memory lane. Toby at 4 months :P
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Super Michael Jackson Brothers Speedrun

Part 1: Michael Jackson Quest III

Part 2: Michael Jackson Fantasy

Part 3: The grand finale - Michael Jackson Forever!!!

That is all. Lol.
Bakrudeen Ali Ahamed Mohamed Ali Jinnah wins the "Most Difficult Name To Remember Award" for 2006. Awarded 2 months early because I'm pretty damn sure nothing will top it.
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Finally some positive press about Bully. I'm only 14% through this game and I'm enjoying every bit. It is as good as the hype made it out to be, and nothing as violent for another matter. It's funny how most critics look at the title of something and jump to conclusions.

Article after the jump.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Blind Melon...my first favorite band is getting a new lead singer and working on new material.

It won't be Shannon Hoon so I have mixed feelings on this so far.
This guy McPhee disses Kingdom Hearts 2.

Funniest video I've seen since Leeroy Jenkins.

BITCH ZOMBIES COMING UP THE HILL RIGHT NOW! sHOOT 'EM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT EM! GRAB THE SHOTGUN! yOU DON'T NEED TO LOAD IT! WE DID THAT FOR YOU! WHAT ARE YOU PRESSING SELECT FOR?! YOU HAVE NO TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE!! BITCH! ZOMBIE'S IN THE ROOM!! HIS AXE IS ON FIRE!!! HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS!! SHOOT 'EM IN THE HEAD!! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEADDDDDD!!







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I'm a huge fan of Kotaku, and one of their editors Florian Eckhardt. He has a sharp wit and comes up with some hilarious situations and metaphors. He did this article today about buying the Rockstar game Bully. Check it out, it had me laughing way too hard.
I don't know how many of you out there follow politics, or even care, but I've been involved since Bush Jr.'s first election.

Maybe you're heard Michael J. Fox's campaign ads for Missouri's Jim Talent. It really should be called disinformation. The bill in question that Talent is campaigning on is Amendment 2, or also known as the "Stem Cell Research and Cures Initiative." This amendment has nothing to do with stem cell research in the least. It is ACTUALLY an amendment to make it a constitutional right to clone humans in Missouri. For four years Missouri legislators have been trying to ban human cloning, and now the Democrats are parading the sick. Why?

Because you can't victimize the sick. You can't challenge someone ill with Parksinson's Disease. If you do it's just viewed as cruel and heartless. But just because you can't challenge someone does that mean their view is right? Most often not. Michael J. Fox claims that Talent is trying to criminalize stem cell researchers, when in fact this amendment has nothing to do with it first of all, and secondly stem cell research is actually legal and being practiced at universities and medical research facilities in Missouri today.

I'm a big Michael J. Fox fan, I've loved him for years and he'll always be Marty McFly in my mind. I also read his book, 2002's Lucky Man. I was shocked to find the following admission. He admits in the book that before Senate subcommittee on appropriations in September of 1999, he did not take his medication for the purpose of demonstrating the full effect of Parkinson's disease. It appears Mike is up to the same trick again.

"I had made a deliberate choice to appear before the subcommittee without medication. It seemed to me that this occasion demanded that my testimony about the effects of the disease and the urgency we as a community were feeling be seen as well as heard. For people who had never observed me in this kind of shape, the transformation must have been startling."

Makes a lot of sense why he was never that bad on Spin City or other appearances.

So to sum it up a human cloning amendment, which would be made a constitutional right, is being billed as a stem cell research issue with the false pretense that Michael J. Fox would be healed within a decade due to the research.

This is why I dislike smear campaigns. Democrats are basically spreading false hope to millions who are afflicted with diseases of this sort. There is no concrete evidence showing that we will definitely have a cure for any of these sicknesses. The message is "If we defeat the Republicans we can heal Michael." This is using and exploiting someone in the worst manner to achieve your own ends. They did this in 2004 with Spinal Paralysis and Christopher Reeves...and now they're doing it again.

Why is embryonic stem cell research so important? Why not work towards adult stem cells? Why not continue work on extracting stem cells from umbilical cords? It CAN be done. Because underneath it all this is really about abortion still. It's the biggest platform Democrats have and they won't give that one up without a fight. Anything that stands in the way of stem cell research is also an enemy to abortion. Rush Limbaugh can be a little radical at times, but he puts it very well.

"If you leave it up to these liberals, you're going to end up with a culture where they are going to decide who lives and who dies based on the convenience and personal preferences of theirs. We're already eliminating kids in the womb. We're eliminating the elderly because they're an inconvenience, and now we want to eliminate the embryos and fetuses because we might be able to cure disease even though there's no evidence whatsoever for it."

I love and hate politics at the same time. There's more distortion than a Tool concert.
Hybrid Cars. The future? Or just an annoying present?

My next car will be a hybrid. Most likely the Toyota Highlander Hybrid. I love that car, and if it shaves off some gas prices in my pocket so be it.

This article is pretty hilarious though checking in on some of most beloved celebrities and clocking their fuel consumption. They're not as "green" as they appear.

But way to go Leonardo DiCaprio. He travels commercial for all his movies unless there's a huge scheduling rush. The rest of them fly their fancy personal jets, burning more fuel than they'll ever save the Earth. Why not start a campaign to fly commercial only? So you might have to fill out a bunch of autographs for fans...you're a celebrity. You're rich because of them.

Go Leo. You're on a roll in the new millenium.
"Recent events in Iran and North Korea support President Bush's 2002 claim that those nations were part of an "axis of evil," Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Tuesday.

After discussions of the North Korean nuclear test and the anti- Semitic remarks of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, radio host Sean Hannity asked Rice about the axis remark.

"You think of some of the world reaction to the president's use of the word 'axis of evil,' and then you see how events have been unfolding," Hannity remarked.

"It was a pretty good analysis, wasn't it?" Rice replied. "It really was."

YEAH CONDI! YOU GO GIRL!
Tiger Direct is offering 1GB flash drives for $5. They're $90 with an $85 rebate. Jump on this if you don't have a flash drive, because everyone needs important files with them at all times.

YAAAAAAAAY!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

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Firefox 2.0 is out! YAAAAAY! It's not on Mozilla's main page but I found it with a little digging. Grab it now before the download rush starts.

And enjoy. Browsing has never been better. Screw IE.
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So the iPod turned 5 yesterday. And what a wonderful 5 years it's been. Little did I know how important their tech would become to me.

My exposure to Macs and Apple had been pretty limited in the past. In middle school I remember using Apple II comptuers, and then the precursors to the iMacs. We used them mainly in computer class in school and not for anything much crazier than that CoolPix program. Heck I was still swimming around on a 286 creating adventures with the Adventure Construction Set, or playing countless Sierra titles like King's Quest and Space Quest

I used Macs a bit more in high school since our computer labs had both PC and Macs. I wasn't a huge fan since OS 9 was clunky and tended to crash a lot. When OS X rolled around I was more impressed. However I credit myself to having an iPod before any of my friends even knew what one was. That's right the clunky MECHANICAL scroll wheel, the hideous black and white display! It was a 2cd Gen. That lasted until the 3rd gen, which I went through 2 of due to defects. I moved onto the 4th gen click-wheel. Then the iPods went bucknuts and I couldn't stop them from mating. So now I've got that 4th Gen clickwheel, a 5th gen video, a 1st gen nano, and a 2cd gen Nano. The 1st gen nano is on it's way out to be sold to some lesser poor fortunate soul in need of a technology update.

Now the iPod wasn't the first hard-drive mp3-player on the market. I remember Creative's Zen being out there early on. But it was HUGE and clunky, and I think it took AA batteries. The iPod won me over because it looked easy to use, clean and pristine in it's milky white ensemble. I was a fan from the start. It turns out it WASN'T so easy to use in the beginning, simply because iTunes hadn't been released for Windows at that time and I was still flying solo-Microsofto. And I think we all know Musicmatch Media player sucks big ass. When iTunes DID come out towards my senior year of college, it blew me away. Finally an easy way to tag my music and transfer it to my iPod. Even some fun alternate apps like a top news feed uploader and a weather updater. (In Syracuse knowing the weather is a HUGE deal before you step out into the arctic abyss)

Now 5 years later I still use my iPods daily, whether it's the staple in my car (I haven't listened to FM in about 4 years), podcasts at work, at the gym or while running, or at parties when "Mr. Music" is called upon to liven things up. And there's no end in sight, they'll keep improving them until they become self aware, just about the same time Google will do the same. And then we're all dead. But at least I've spun in a circle in a meadow for awhile with you iPod. At least for awhile.

Happy Birthday iPod. I love you.
So I guess Bluetooth headsets suddenly aren't so GEEKY.

A recent study shows that men who use their cellphones more than 4 hours a day have a drastically reduced sperm cell count that could, in time, lead to infertility. This isn't exactly surprising news. Holding radiation next to your head is going to have SOME effect and if it isn't cranial tumors, hair loss, or incompetency, well our little sailors were next.

I'm glad my LG phone is about to kick the bucket, and I'm up for a new one next month. By then the LG Chocolate flip phone should be out which, thank the cellphone Gods, supports Bluetooth. So now I can look goofy and have dozens of people think I talk to myself every day too!

But at least I'll be virile bitches!


Cell Phones BAD!

Monday, October 23, 2006

I thought this was MySpace?

I've been on MySpace for a long long time. I started out with Friendster and it's sad that site didn't take off as well. They had the initial idea, Tom just came along and did it better. They added a lot in recent months to the functionality, but if it's not too little it's certainly too late.

For the most part MySpace is a good deal but I do have some gripes. There are certain individuals out there, (and I won't mention any names) who have profiles more colorful, jarring and crammed full of the worst scotch-taped HTML I've ever seen. These are the same people who have Ms. New Booty blaring the second I load up their page. Or rather 15 minutes after I load their page, since that's how long it takes to load these saturated epilepsy-fests. Auto-start is an annoying thing, I don't want my ears blown out and 99% of the time I'm not going to want to hear your song, no matter how introspective it is or what it might mean to you. I'm glad you found Sexybeast by Justin TimbaJackson, but please keep Justin in your pants where he belongs.

Now I don't mind this on BAND pages...since the whole point is to rep your band and get yourself some exposure. For instance I had a few band friend requests from guys who legitimately thought I'd like their sound. One was a guy who was coined as very similar to the Barenaked Ladies. Another was similar to U2, and yet another along the Pearl Jam lines. I actually did like their tunes and was happy to get that random friend request.

However when I get UnOrThOdOxxxXXxxxxx from the UK, for no reason (it's not like I list NAS, XZIBIT, Jay-Z, or Eminem as my favorites) that annoys me. It clutters up my inbox. If I want to hear about the gang-life of the streets of London, I'll send YOU a friend request....you wanker.

Truth be told MySpace is a large part of how I keep in touch with college friends. I've reconnected with a ton of people I knew from as far back as elementary school. it's odd that in an age where it was said the internet would isolate us it really is creating a whole new plane of social interaction.

Now if we can just keep the pedophiles off we'll be in business.
So Lumines Live finally got released on XBox Live Arcade...and I'm not impressed.

I owned a PSP in the summer of '05. I got it a few months after the "craze" died down. It was barely worth the sale price and I found it for much much cheaper down in Baltimore. Grabbed it and Lumines. That was the only game I ever owned for it. I enjoyed Lumines, a lot. It was one of those Tetris-like-zone-out games, except that it was nothing like Tetris. Yeah there are blocks and they fall, but that's about it. You play with 4x4 squares the entire time, so it's vastly different from the Russian-experience we've all had since the 80s.

So why is my jaw not dropping as if I were at this years Girls Gone Wild finals? XBLA basically broke the game. Let's do a little backstory. XBox Live is Microsoft's stab at online downloadable game content. Whether it's add-ons for a game you've bought, or an arcade game reminiscent of PopCap games the point is you download them from XBox Live. You pay with your credit card for "Points" and then purchase the games or content through the service.

So far I've been pretty pleased with XBLA. I got the DOOM remake, Geometry Wars, Zuma and a few other fun little arcade games. My favorite so far is probably Wik: The Fable Of Souls, where you control a little weird creature and the point is to eat as many slugs and bugs in a level as possible. He can swing by his tongue. Creative and amusing to no end. It cost about $5 for the full game. You can download trials of most of these games which let you play a few levels, or in some cases the whole game but leave little elements out. Say multiplayer or the ability to post your score on the Live leaderboards.

Here's the issue...Lumines comes fragmented. It's like paying for the demo. Having owned the PSP game I know what's supposed to be in the full game, and it's definitely not there. They have included so little with the aim of releasing a bunch of add-on packs so you can "customize your game experience." If customizing my game experience means taking it up the rear like the rope on my soap on a rope broke, well Microsoft's hit it dead on! And the worst part is it costs about $15. Yes that's right, $15 for something broken.

I love the idea of XBox Live Arcade. It's helping some little unknown developers get their turn on the kickball team. But the microtransactions are essentially "nickle and diming" gamers to death. The MAJORITY of gamers are males under 25, most of whom aren't going to spend that much cash on these games. If a game is going to cost more than $10, it better damn well be complete, and of good quality. This sour aftertaste that keeps getting left in gamers' mouths can only spell trouble if Microsoft doesn't alter their strategy.