Thursday, September 22, 2005

Paris Hilton...a lying ho.

Paris Hilton recently bragged to US magazine that she and her family had donated 6 million dollars to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

And according to Radar Online, "Some US staffers were skeptical about the boast - as were Hilton's own handlers, who sources say warned her about repeating the sketchy-sounding claim. 'She just flat-out lied,' griped one incredulous reporter. "Did she think no one would bother to check?'"

In reality, a 6 million dollar donation was made through the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, a charitable trust set up by the Hilton family patriarch in 1944, back when kids in knickers played that game where they run with a hoop and a stick, and never in a million years did he imagine that any blood of his would turn his name into the punch line of every slut joke told in the next millenium.

Needless to say, Paris has no affiliation with the trust. She sits on no board, she has no access to the funding and has no say in when or where funds are distributed. And, more to the point, the donation didn't cost her a dime. That 6 million didn't come from her bankroll. So, Paris may do something that helps the Gulf Coast, but only incidentally. In a Butterfly Effect kind of way. Like if she swallows some guys semen, and then they guy has to go to a doctor for the burning and then the doctor has a breakthrough in treating dysentery. So, in that sense, if Paris can help by having a guy pee on her or write their initials on her back, she's more the willing to help.

Way to go Paris...you still lose at life.
Stewart Beach Galveston, TX Webcam

It's scary looking there already...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

A huge pet peeve of mine of mine is when I'm at a stop sign waiting for a pedestrian to cross the street, and they don't pick up the pace. It infuriates me. (My other pet peeve is what a douche I sound like using the phrase "pet peeve.")

All I ask is the people crossing the street show a little hustle when they know there's a car wating on them. I know they don't have to, but I would like it because the rage I feel while they saunter along is going to give me a coronary.

I'd even be happy with the Coach's Trot-- you see that in sports when the players are all running to their lockers, and the fat old coach just moves his arms around to make it "look" like he's running.

I bring all this up because I keep seeing a commerical for the new VW Passat. In it, two guys are playing football on the street and one of them goes long, dives to catch the ball and lands hard on the hood of a Passat. He then rolls off to the ground, unhurt.

The announcer goes on to talk about Passat's new "Front-End Pedestrian Saftey System" which apparently makes it safer if you hit somebody. This is the best news ever. It seems to me this is a license to mow people down at will.

The Passat people are geniuses.

The next time someone is taking too long to cross the street, I can playfully knock their asses across the road for them. Life just keeps getting better.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Yet another article about political pandering over violence in video games.

If there are any politicians, consultants or aides reading this blog, print this post and tack it up on your wall.

Here’s my warning. If you propose legislation about violence in video games, I will vote against you. If you blame video games for the next school killing, I’ll vote for your foe, Democrat or Republican. If you make a speech in which you blame society’s ills on video games, I will donate $200 to your rival, even if the race isn’t in my district. Hear that, Ms. Clinton?

Why should you take me seriously? Because I’m in my mid-20s, I live in an affluent suburb, I pay very close attention to the school ratings in my neighborhood, I look at my tax bills closely, I vote in every election — and I know “violence in video games” is a favorite bullshit political tactic to draw attention away from what politicans really should be fixing: underfunded schools and lack of decent health care for poorer kids.

Another reason to take me seriously: I know I’m not alone in disgust as an adult gamer. At this point there are more adults playing video games, including those who have kids, than innocent, impressionable fanboys. We’re perfectly aware of what to expect when a game has an “M” ESRB rating. We know what our kids can play.

So thank for your concern, Governor Granholm and Assemblyman Yee. But get the @)@#! out of my living room — and out of elected office.
This entry is dedicated to Jay Benati...and the Rap Snacks we discovered in Syracuse, NY.

There was a Fark contest recently to photoshop Rap Snacks...and I thought he'd get a kick out of this.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Lost Garden has posted an awesome article regarding the video game life cycle as it pertains to marketing, hardware, controllers, and system design. Check it out. I hope Nintendo can really change the way people game...they're not dead yet!