Haikus dedicated to my neutered dog, Toby.

Now I awaken
Gone forever my gonads
My vengeance will come

Where are my balls at?
Where are my fucking balls at?
Shit I lost my balls!

Rose petals fall soft
on my soul's Chinese garden.
I miss my testes.

My bark is stronger
Than my bite, but several
octaves higher now.

On a brighter note:
The ladies will finally
Love me for my mind

I should not have humped
The punishment does not fit
Is there no justice?


in bed with your girl
you, my callous oppressor
so what if I watch

vain apologist
there's no emptiness like this
screw your snausages

you toss beggin strips
as if I'd beg for bacon
I'd rather have eggs

dearest testicles,
you were taken while I slept.
see you in heaven.

A squeaky porkchop
Is my only pleasure now
Since the castration

what will i lick now
that you've stolen my mouth balls
i guess yours will do

sad but resolute
pruned tree stands strong in the breeze
part of me is gone

why did you do that?
you would not do that to me
must have been the cat

no puppies for me
an eternal bachelor
chasing butterflies

How did I get here?
Feeling ever so drowsy.
Where did my nuts go?

Orchidectomy
Big word, huge consequences
For such a small dog

My balls, they are gone
I can no longer lick them
Shit shit shit shit shit

I'm sorry Toby.
I didn't want to get you neutered.